Monolith

I like your poem, but I think sandstorms for millions of years would have eroded it to nothing! I suppose some would assume the millions of years refer to its formation though, but rock can be formed and hardened in quite short times.

i like it, yet i think that breaking the lines differently might add to the reading. Or is this okay when read aloud?
i find it bumpy going.

"Different shades and hues of orange- great start.
With single layers of chalk-white - take out 'with'
Curves and nooks so soft to look at - turn line to
'Soft curves and nooks'
Sweeping along the surface" - take out 'ing'

Different shades and hues of orange - or go to either
shade or hue even...?
Single layers of chalk white.
Soft curves and nooks
sweep along the surface.

see how it reads - i have to read mine aloud, to get it right.

of course its your poem so you don't have to agree.
best

maisie

Tell you what Pia, I take that back because it may sound much better in Danish. I forgot you have to work in a second language or translate it.

If you want to use it, you're welcome,of course. I took ages before I could accept any kind of criticism, I used to weep
at my computer.

Hi Maisie I think you may have something there. Very constructive. I think I'll change it.

;)Pia

Thanks a lot

Rhiannow- well it must have been there for ages then!
Thanks for reading

Hello pia,

I don't think I could write a description of a monolith, you have managed to get so much detail in,
I especially like:-

soft curves and nooks
Sweep along the surface
a few saltbushes
Jut out from the grand monolith
The face of this rock is brittle stone
and layered sand
not to be scathed

What a wonderful description this is.

Jenny.

If it is a description of Ayers rock then the 'millions of years old' makes sense because, from what I've read, geologists think that Ayers rock is around 500 million years old.

If it is about Ayers rock then it's a good 'Landscape' in words and a good
celebration of nature's artistry.

Jenny- thank you very much for a beautifully generous comment. I really appreciate your opinion.

;)Pia

Well-wisher- as I pointed out in the teaser this is not Ayer's Rock- this is a much smaller monolith but nevertheless a real beauty. I would never be able to describe Ayer's Rock. I did try to describe one of Nature's monuments and I am sure that it is several millions of years old. I think it is somewhere in the USA- I'm not sure. I have it from a photograph.
Thank you very much for reading. I'm so glad you seem to have been able to picture this wonder.

;)Pia