Surfer

Highhat,
I love the way you express yourself, it's almost as if
you have actually experienced riding a wave.
Jenny.

Yes. I feel the wave.

by the way- I didn't ride the wave but would have enjoyed it as much. saw it on a special screen
pia ;)

Great Jenny and Celticman- I am so glad you got the feeling. defintely was my ambition with this piece. It was a bit difficult but I am glad you got it ;)
pia

Highhat, I was about to send you a message thanking you for noticing my essay on innovation, when I saw this poem. All I can say is that's just fantastic, and I'm not easily impressed. I never lived near the ocean, but I'd visit it sometimes and see the surfers... and I wanted to learn. But it just never happened.
And now I'm not as prone to try difficult new things: having a lot of difficult old things I can always return to. And, more crucially, I've become far too happy and successful to take the risks I used to.
Back to the poem, I won't micro-analyze but I'll comment a little Your repetition of "as I pass through the pipeline" fits the poem perfectly. It takes guts to use that much repetition, and poetic savvy to know when it will work. I love the subject specific details. Many people can relate to a just slightly dangerous, thrilling activity where much of the joy comes from precision and confidence. You vividly paint a physical picture for the reader: complete with gravity, surfboard, and that swelling wave. In my opinion, this is a mini-masterpiece.

hi sean.they were big words.But I can't thank you enough for seeing the truth of this. It was a bit of a chance to take and it paid off well I can see.The repetition was excactly as you pointed out to get the feeling of passing through the pipeline. You give me much credit;)
I have always admired the surfers but just couldn't stay on a board- too impatient with learning I suppose.
pia
;]

wooh always hope to surf properly, never manage yet keep trying! sound exciting, reading this makes it seem like a rush for thrill seekers! K

Kahdai- thanks a lot for your comment. I'm so glad you liked it and could see the rush feeling- then my goal has been attained !
cheers
pia ;)

Its almost like song lyrics; someone should pout it to music. Another brilliant piece
;)

Why thank you darkenwolf
pia ;)

Really intricate and visual descriptions here, Pia. Well done!

Magic xxx

Thank you Magic- so glad you liked it ;)
pia

nice piece here Pia. Its gives a real
sense of the presence of the wave.

Thanks Alphadog. Glad you liked it ;)
cheers pia xx

Told you you had something here, Highhat. You helped inspire my "Ode to Tennis," one of the best poems I've ever written. Poetry should be about anything interesting, not just elevated or traditional subjects.

I don't mind it being a little ' elevated' meself- I love using words just for words sake. Glad I could inspire you. Very glad indeed ;)
pia

I like the repetition. It reminds me of a meditation or a mantra. I also think that the poem succeeds in creating a sense of time slowing down or standing still or being 'captured'.

Well wisher. I did try to capture the moment so you hit it on the nail. How lovely. Thanks for reading my stuff. So pleased am I ;)
Pia