Today is Now part 2

Paralysed by the desolation,
the destruction and counting
the dead.
Old age is okay but leaving
life before you turn fourty
is not all right.
It’s too early.
Nevertheless
I count the dead from
my past.
That makes my shoulders
flinch not shrug.
Destroying the days.
Ruining every day.
Sitting on cold
concrete pavements.
Turning warmth
to freezing indifference.
Shouting at passers by
in drunken disorder.
Knives and fists,
beer bottles and crutches
of despair.
Inhaling the smoke of
intoxicating drugs.
Indolence reigns.
Kissing dirt.
Forgetting the child
in yourself.
Harsh was the life.
I lay it aside and say:
“That was the past!”
Today is now and forever.