iConceive

iConceive

she’s used a calendar
thermometer
star charts
tarot cards
calculated optimum
time of ovulation
to 11.30 tonight

he gets back from the pub
romancing a half eaten kebab
bit out of focus
tales of tall pints
fruit machine cherry pay outs
and the boys from romford
who got involved in a fight

11.26
she drags him upstairs
urban bed jacked-up
bricks one end
unbuttons
unzips
legs open wide

11.28
he’s inside her
5
4
3
2
1
11.30 he comes

11.31
rolls over
trousers round his ankles
still holding that kebab
like it has a great value

she performs a handstand
against the bedroom wall
and as an insurance policy
she wants more semen
but he’s happy to snore

she sits upside down on the settee
legs kicking air
watching telly
three men and a baby
which gives her an idea

she goes online
friends reunited myspace facebook
looking for a name from the past
to poke her
but her past is growing rounder
it’s balding and creased into
something unattractive

just as with some old countryside saying
she reassures herself (and with chocolate)
that the cock rises early
in the morning

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

insertponceyfre... | January 24, 2011 - 13:08

very funny!

Highhat | January 24, 2011 - 13:28

Funny indeed ;)

seashore | January 24, 2011 - 14:03

This is not only funny but so well-written too - great!

Prettyrose | January 24, 2011 - 16:42

hi IDrew really true!!!!!! and funny but sorry and I am sure its how I have read it, but the last verse to me does not go with the rest or should I say to me it makes no sense but thats because I assumed it would end differently (in my head lol) so well done :)))

iDrew | January 24, 2011 - 23:31

Gosh really unexpected and I'm truly chuffed.

Thank you for my cherry

And thank you all for your kind comments.

xDrew

the CLUELESS COLLECTIVE'S magazine of poetica Issue #6 -http://www.cluelesscollective.co.uk - OUT NOW. With an Andrew Motion exposé, news of an amazing Auden discovery, and an exclusive interview with Charlotte De’Ath about …

apeljo | January 25, 2011 - 19:15

Great poem!!!

sonora | February 6, 2011 - 19:27

Good good stuff