I Don't Eat Chocolate And I Don't Wear Slippers With Marabou Feathers.

Hi insert,

I can feel a lot of frustration coming out in this
story, it's almost as if the writer is thinking
out loud.

By the way I love the title, and I did enjoy reading.

Jenny.

'everyday things, bouncing ideas off someone, being able to say “look at that” Do you know what I just heard? Isn’t that funny? Am I doing this right? Is this is in the right place?” '

Brilliant and love the title and description in the first section.

Not sure if you meant 'Is this in the right place' or 'If this is in the right place' or another variable with the same words. ATB Fatboy

thank you for reading Jenny - it was definitely a thinking out loud piece

thank you too Fatboy, I did mean is this in the right place - like you'd say if you were hanging a painting perhaps. I'm glad you like the title - that's often the thing i find hardest to do.

Thank you for the cherry!

I think it is great- this excerpt. I admire your courage to write it all publicly. I really hope it helps you spelling it all out. Although you always seem to have decided what to do before you publish the pieces. I love that part of your writing. It really is a diary and you make the reader think. I like that too.
Well I am enjoying this and hoping you know exactly what you are doing. Really is a nice bit of the love scene you have. Go for it Insert.
;)Pia

mistake- sorry
;)Pia

I've read this a few times. Not for the usual reasons, but because I'm eating noodles and they keep slipping off the fork and I wiped the oily bit on my work's t-shirt, only it wasn't my works t-shirt, so I know what I'm talking about. Toss a coin. Heads yes. Tails no. Always works for me. Keep flipping until you get the right answer. Hope that helps.

thank you Pia, and Blighters too - you're right.

Celticman perhaps you should do one thing first, then the other. I would take your wise advice, only I don't need to, because hopefully I already have the right answer. But thank you anyway! and thanks for reading.

I very much admire the candidness of your writing insert, and for me, that is undoubtedly its appeal.

Tina

thank you very much Tina

Ditto on what Tina said about the candidness. If you were to put something like this in a longer piece maybe a touch of humor to contrast the serious, existential enui/angst and some confrontational dialogue would draw the concept in even bolder relief. But, of course, that depends on your literary motive.
As soliloquy, interior monologue or confessional diary, it stands perfectly whole on its own merits.
No sooner did I post this then I thought of something else: the point is to push the envelope, to take chances and forcefully nudge the reader beyond his conventional mindset, which you do with the title and continue further along with the Dostoyevsky-like rant. Good work!

thanks Barry - your comments are always really interesting to read - and very helpful!

"and wear pastel colours – pink especially – and they’d eat chocolate and cakes, but they’d pretend they were being “naughty” - and that they couldn’t help themselves."

- love the opening to this piece, insert! I love the conversational yet determined tone. Well done on the cherry! :)

Magic xxx

Is Marnie your mother?

She isn't my mother Pia!

Really glad you enjoyed Magic - hope your revision plans are working for you. Thank for reading

So, you didn't wait until 'after Marnie,'I had a feeling that you might not. Be careful mate. (I remember you giving me similar advice about Dave.) Distance does not make the heart grow fonder, it can only be a bloody great, plane shaped, wedge. Have fun, be happy, but don't get hurt. Getting hurt makes great writing... but it hurts.

thanks for the advice sooz. I am trying to stay indifferent, then it won't matter what happens. Thank you for reading

this is brilliant, I love how honest and raw it is, the writing really reels you straight into the very detailed thought process

Well it's a very brave thing to write. Here's hoping it works out somehow. I suppose at least you get to see some deserts along the way.

It's a shame that cruises have the reputations they do. I think there should be some subversive group set up on the web whose members buy up cruise tickets and enforce alternative on-board societies that are existentially threatening without actually justifying expulsion at the next port - something like occupying the dining room with discussion groups on Nietzsche or fantasy role-playing games or something like that ...

Rob

I liked the opening to this too like Magic, you got a personality there, the type that go on cruises and wear a lot of pink.

thank you maggy and hilary, and thank you too Rob - I think that's a very interesting idea - not sure if I'd want to be stuck on a cruise hijacked by role-playing gamers any more than people in pastel coloured leisure wear though!

Brilliant, insert - what a read :)

A very courageous piece of writing which I enjoyed from start to end - title is a hoot, too!

Rachel xx

thank you Rachel!