Let’s get critical (29th March, 2011)
Stick your rock in my hard place. My headspace
reels with your insults: ‘fuck this’, ‘fuck that’. Do
you like my writing now with the added
expletives you seem to favour so much?
Good stuff, old chaps! Just turn the page if my
age offends you, flattering as it is
to be thought under it. Yes, substance! Now,
that’s more like it, eh? For who gives a toss
about the basic stuff in which I place
my trust? Spit the stones out when you’re done with
sucking on my cherries like they’re sour grapes;
this is comment rape. Can’t you show some love?
I think you’ll find your own words lying dull,
limp and lifeless in your lap. Void and null.
Comments
sue dinum | March 29, 2011 - 22:10
Hi jennifer, I wondered what had happened to you, nice to have you back. Can't quite make this out - it seems to be an explosion of frustration and anger, not quite sure who it's aimed at. I just hope you feel better for having written it.
sue
fatboy74 | March 29, 2011 - 22:18
Love the ending to this:
I think you’ll find your own words lying dull,
limp and lifeless in your lap. Void and null.
Strong stuff, and I think this might run and run and run... does this mean it's 1-1? Thanks for the read. :-)
oldpesky | March 30, 2011 - 11:39
This one took me by surprise, seeing as it's filled with such anger. Don't know about the background to this but it reads very well.
shoe | March 30, 2011 - 17:48
Go Girl! On a site whose motto is 'these are people's dreams upon which you tread so go softly' this kind of rudeness is intolerable. what an unpleasant person 'they' must be.
celticman | March 30, 2011 - 20:54
very visceral.
jennifer | March 30, 2011 - 21:23
I don't think they're intentionally unpleasant, I just think they're not a 'poetry lover' but I was somewhat taken aback, to say the least. When I get emotional about something, it tends to find its vent in poetry, hence this rather vitriolic offering. My previous poem, 'Taxi Ride' came out as a response to a different, strong emotion, and that was the poem of contention!
Thank you, folks, glad I struck a note of something in you with this one!
J x
Dynamaso | March 31, 2011 - 00:06
The line about 'spitting the stones' is very appropriate. Nice piece of vitriol, this.
Mark
jennifer | August 8, 2011 - 20:40
Hi Mark,
Thank you! This is how I get things out of my system - I write them out!
J x
Blessing | September 23, 2011 - 12:39
Watch out! Jennifer's about people. Not mincing your words here Jennifer. Somebody sure got your goat girl ...