Sprung! (4th March, 2009, 6.59pm)
Spring the lock on my drawers;
undo the ties that bind me to the past;
allow the parts to re-align
as the sun slides through the curtains,
I sigh: long may it last!
Let the crocuses bloom,
poking their inquisitive green fingers
up through the moist, dark soil;
prepare the earth for planting:
plough your furrow, boy!
Open your lungs with the joy
of spring, as we bound on sprung,
metallic strings like puppets;
swing, swing, feel the earth move
as she prepares for Spring!
Let the shoots spurt up through
the well-dug crust; let them bloom
and fill the room with the scent
of nature; listen as we close the door
on Winter; do not lament.
Jennifer Pickup
Comments
Silver Spun Sand | March 4, 2009 - 18:52
Now this, I love!!
And as for the line:-
"Plough your furrow, boy !"
I'm certainly all for that:-)
Nice one, Jennifer. I'm off to read it to my partner in the hope that it inspires them ... to do some gardening, of course;-)
T X
littleditty | March 4, 2009 - 20:15
really liked this too - all - and i am happy to find a comma to discuss!
Open your lungs with the joy
of spring, as we bound on sprung, <----
metallic strings like puppets;
swing, swing, feel the earth move
as she prepares for Spring!
i know it's correct, but felt too much pause there at the end of the line - without it, its a melodic run on line thats sounds springingly good! What say you?
Silver Spun Sand | March 4, 2009 - 23:28
;-)
Nathan Bednarek | March 4, 2009 - 23:31
Phew! This is brilliant! The poem is very thought-provoking and encouraging.
Lovely craftsmanship, especially in
'allow the parts to re-align
as the sun slides through the curtains,'
and the last stanza is perfect. I call this a good bit of spit'n'polishing. ;-D
Well done.
Nathan.
threeleafshamrock | March 5, 2009 - 22:14
Hmmm, no doubt spring is getting to you in a big way for the last couple of weeks Jen, lol. You will wear out that poor boys plough if your not careful ;) You didn't mention rabbits! ...or maybe you did LOL. Nice one; you have such a nice way of putting it - no pun intended ;) Great fun!
Chris X
MistakenMagic | March 6, 2009 - 15:33
'Let the crocuses bloom,
poking their inquisitive green fingers
up through the moist, dark soil;'
Love this phrasing ;) Another brilliant poem!
Magic xxx
Dynamaso | March 9, 2009 - 05:30
Very salacious, this. There is nothing like getting a little dirt under the fingernails. Bloomin' marvellous :)
jennifer | March 9, 2009 - 08:52
Oh honestly, I cannot believe you are all reading dirty things into my perfectly innocent spring poem!
Goodness gracious me!
hehe
J x
Curse of 222 | March 9, 2009 - 23:18
i'm not sure i can add anything more. the phrasing is delicious, the commas in all the right places (apparently) and the oh-so subtle undertone. makes me want to snuggle up with my love and "allow the parts to re-align"
222?