Free a fallen star

Posted by Kahdai on March 7, 2010 - 20:48

Stars
turn cold
when caught
in snare, left
as stone, lose that
sparkles of theirs.

No light within,
no life, you win.

Full of hope
fullfill any wish.

Another
bright star, too tempting,
has to leave this world.

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Comments

'Stars
turn cold
when caught
in snare'

- love these lines, Kahdai! (Jenna :p) I would just suggest you chande the next lines to:

'as stone, lose that
sparkles of theirs.'

just so it flows better and makes a little more sense ;)

Again, really love this one!

Magic xxx

A lovely poem, especially the last stanza,:~}

Oh yes, that much better ^^ Thankyu Magic ;p

Thankyou shoe, I'm glad you like it I thoght th last part was a bit worse at making sense, so you have reassured me :)

K xxx