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NINE THIRTY-FOUR IN THE EVENING

Posted by kheldar on July 10, 2010 - 20:51
from the ABC set THE INNER CONDITION

Nine thirty-four in the evening; I sit at my desk beneath the sloping attic roof.

Through the cooling opening in the Velux window I see a coppice of TV aerials, each like the ribs of a 20th century dodo.

Beyond is a steeple, like me the building below is devoid of faith, it was turned into flats long ago.

Further still the slowly darkening sky and clouds that speak of rain. It's thunder we really need.

Like the recently departed sun, my mood is sinking too. It's like this every night.

Perhaps I'm tired, not tired enough to sleep, but too tired to hold back the sadness.

My loved and loving wife sleeps scant yards away, yet my loneliness is complete.

Later, as I lay me down, the voice in my head will say, "Tomorrow you will end it."

I won't of course. It's like this every night - it will be like this tomorrow.

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Comments

MistakenMagic | July 11, 2010 - 17:22

Really effective piece, David. Such brutal honesty too - I think that's what makes this piece truly haunting. Love this image:

'Beyond is a steeple, like me the building below is devoid of faith, it was turned into flats long ago.'

Magic xxx

kheldar | July 11, 2010 - 17:40

Thank you Magic for your comments. I guess the honesty comes from the fact I typed exactly what I was seeing and feeling at the precise moment.

Thanks again,

David xxx

kheldar | July 12, 2010 - 12:36

Thanks Julie for your comment and your well wishes.

David xxx

Kahdai | July 12, 2010 - 19:00

I hope you werent feeling that kheldar!

kheldar | July 12, 2010 - 19:13

Hi Kahdai,

No need to worry, I've battled depression most of my life and I'm still here to tell the tale.

Kind regards,

David xx

Kahdai | July 12, 2010 - 19:20

Well, good on you then David! I been there & one line lifted hope in me, not the loneliness, the fact your loved & loving wife is there, I for one know that love is depressions antidote! K xx

Silver Spun Sand | July 13, 2010 - 07:56

David, as Magic says the honesty in this is overwhelming and for once, I am lost for words. The cherry, richly deserved.

Tina xx

kheldar | July 13, 2010 - 15:24

Hi Tina,

Thank you so much, your loss of words speaks volumes.

David

P.S. I've made a note in my diary, just in case it never happens again xxx

shoe | August 4, 2010 - 19:39

A feel like I should thank you for sharing this, It's so personal you could be on the end of the phone, Each sentence is so wonderfully crafted yet uncontrived, very very well deserved cherry.

Shirley xxxx

Cavalcaderl | August 4, 2010 - 20:07

new kheldar
Really enjoyed images buildings and flats. David
The awakening mind ! can be good a bad sometimes
may make the best poems and stories to flow and grab a pen. Don't work on it just be oneself may flow better. I am still learning or deleting bits.
I agree with magic to.
hope your well now.
Oh! well deserved cherry! I see now.
julie xx

kheldar | August 4, 2010 - 21:25

Shirley, thank you so much for your kind words, it means so much to me that i can express and share thoughts like these with people like yourself and get such positive responses.

David xx

L G Meadows | May 21, 2011 - 09:29

I clicked on random story and ended up at your Inner Condition. Enjoyed reading it and yes, one can not be alone but still lonely. Very poignant. It's nice that you shared those thoughts.

kheldar | May 21, 2011 - 12:00

Thank you L G, I'm pleased random chance brought you to this spot, even more pleased that you took the time to comment. Thank you.

kheldar :--)