I Try

Standing alone before the world, I try
To justify existence, to recall
The things I've done to make someone else smile
But I can't remember.

I try to think that I was happy once,
Before all of this selfishness and pain,
I know for sure that I must have been-
But I don't remember.

Sometimes I wonder what it is I've done
That merits so much sorrow and such guilt.
A crime from some past, sinful life of mine
Which I don't remember.

With blade in hand, I search the starlit skies
For meaning, permanence, hold and escape.
Perhaps there used to be some point to life.

But I don't remember.