You would come in sit down from work we would sit next to you if we could a smell a sense a touch of you the head a man our dad at odds in our midst who tried as best he could did not know old things too young to lead to be in charge but you were our dad and now with time your touch is gone my dad is dead in my world but I think of love for him from when I was a child and I felt old as I thought I knew more than you a great weight you looked to me to know to steer to lead I was a child and did not know of things of the world now I have no wants to touch this flesh of man though still here your words are lost just dreams I have from a small girl in the past.
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Comments
Highhat | February 15, 2011 - 11:22
Nice Jackie- you did very well without the punctuation- quite an art
;)Pia
fatboy74 | February 16, 2011 - 09:02
It took another couple of reads Louise, (because it's not the easiest without the punctuation and the way it's set out) but this really is a good poem and once you get used to it the style suits it perfectly. :-)
Louise178 | February 16, 2011 - 11:05
Well I had muddled with it for a few days, in different forms, but I wanted it to be very simple in the end and I think the one syllables suit the poem. I really like it, think it is one of my better ones :) thanks for taking time to read it over a few times.