1.
I wish things had been a little different today
and I apologize to myself for being the same way
that I always have been
and I always am
as predictable as that man I see stumbling into the same motel room across a leaf-scattered parking lot, he peers over the same left shoulder, the same spiny fingers wrapped around a briefcase. He never changes, the room never changes, only the women –
they change.
2.
I suck Coca-Cola through a straw and pluck out an eyelash,
a man on telly screams “please watch me, please”
I try, but crusty eyelids slam shut and I
wake up head to desk, saliva streaming
down
my
neck and the man walks to his car
and the man drives off
and the man will come back.
3.
I would like someone to talk to
as I sit and watch and learn all
about someone else's secrecy.
I would like someone to huddle over
warm coffee with, scraping caramel off
porcelain bottoms, licking behind
our fingernails after every other
dip.
We could each have two cigarettes
as we laugh at bony strangers that pass by
and jump over deep puddles, deeper than
their bodies stacked
one on top of the
other.
4.
I would like to have a friend,
just one would be okay for:
sharing secrets and
filling up rooms with
our bodies and our
obnoxious laughs.
We could have coffee and lick spoons and
share a pack of lucky strikes
no other brand will do, because
our memories run deep
deeper than puddles
deeper than bubbling froth and bottomless black
deeper than the creases in her leopard print thighs
deeper than his gaping mouth, the one telling me to watch
deeper than the thrust of one man’s hips into another pair of hips
because we are brave, together we are so brave!
and perhaps I would try to kiss you.
5.
I would like to enjoy sex with somebody
as we shelter from the rain in a cheap
motel room and perhaps you, whoever you
are, will trace my bendy spine with fingertips
that tingle – the meeting of strange flesh, two
rubbery balloons, an electric effect.
6.
Most of all I would like to find the insides
of that briefcase, the one he clutches so tight,
darting raindrops in the dead of the afternoon.
I would like to undo the clasp and open it up
to reveal a heart.
I would like to hold the heart
I would like to hold the heart with both my hands
I would like to move the heart
I would like to move the heart with both my hands
I would like to make that heart surrender.
Comments
shoe | September 23, 2010 - 18:45
I enjoyed this, thoughts wandering off into tangents, and the focused and rather sinister end.
maggyvaneijk | September 23, 2010 - 18:51
thanks, I´m happy you like it!
JoseHdz | September 23, 2010 - 19:00
Fascinating. Great attention to detail. Nice job.
Cheers
maggyvaneijk | September 23, 2010 - 19:03
Thanks Jose!
tcook | September 24, 2010 - 11:06
This is very good indeed - deep and dark.
One or two little things niggle a bit with me though - in 3. I really don't like 'off of' - although it works as a piece of vernacular and I'm maybe just being picky. I also found 'on top of one another' a bit odd - how about 'one on top of the other'?
But I really love all the rest of it!
maggyvaneijk | September 24, 2010 - 11:45
thanks Tony, I agree with you. Both examples were being pondered on for far too long, I didn´t like them as they were but its like forgetting the word for something, I couldn´t find a solution. Thanks for providing one!
tcook | September 24, 2010 - 12:01
Glad to be of help - and I do think it reads better now!
tcook | September 24, 2010 - 12:41
This is one of our Poems of the Week as well as being our Facebook and Twitter pick of the day.
Join us on Facebook at ABCtales.com
Join us on Twitter @tcookabctales
Get a great reading recommendation every day.
maggyvaneijk | September 24, 2010 - 12:51
thanks again, for all your support.
maggyvaneijk | September 24, 2010 - 13:13
that was my intention, she's very alienated and alone. The man does indeed visit the motel room for women, what's in the briefcase depends on who wants to open it :)
o-bear | September 24, 2010 - 15:10
really compelling and different, i enjoyed it a lot, nice one
maggyvaneijk | September 24, 2010 - 16:22
thanks o-bear!
MistakenMagic | September 24, 2010 - 18:03
Absolutely enthralling - really nice bit of psychology and poetry you've written here, Maggy. Well done on the cherry - richly deserved!
Magic xxx
fatboy74 | September 26, 2010 - 14:43
Fascinating poem that is compelling and claustrophobic. Congrats on cherry. :-)
rjnewlyn | October 1, 2010 - 21:50
This is very good. I liked the pacing and rhythm and, as others have commmented, the ending is nicely dark and enigmatic.
Rob
tcook | January 3, 2011 - 17:48
This is our Poem of the Year 2010. Congratulations.
maggyvaneijk | January 3, 2011 - 19:09
golly I'm gobsmacked! Thanks so much and thanks ABC Tales!
JoseHdz | January 3, 2011 - 22:13
congrats maggy. well deserved!
cheers..
shoe | January 4, 2011 - 18:59
Congratulations Maggy, richly deserved.
rjnewlyn | January 5, 2011 - 00:00
Yes, I'm glad this one got it. Good choice!
Rob
tessdavies | January 9, 2011 - 10:49
Tess Davies
I love it, good choice, congratulations.
Yutka | January 20, 2011 - 17:22
exciting read, Maggie. And very well deserved your cherry! I read it as watching a film. In a kind of lyrical way....now thinking of some music going with it...
Yutka:)
Nathan Bednarek | May 11, 2011 - 21:49
I cannot believe I haven't read this before, but I'm glad I did now, though a bit late ;-) congrats on having written the poem of the year ;-)
On a more personal note, I'd just like to say that this is probably one of the best poems I EVER read, genuinely. I'm a people person, so the kind of writing I am most drawn to is where people, a group or an individual is explored with no limitations and great respect at the same time, which is not an easy thing to achieve, but you did, triumphantly.
I am not even going to attempt to describe just how beautiful I think this poem is, so I'm just going to stick to a traditional 'well done' ;-)
Nathan.
Richard L. Prov... | September 23, 2011 - 00:17
My site Richard L. Provencher is working again. Thanks ABC. And don't forget writers all of my novels, written by my wife and I are free downloads and we'll send free via email any of the three for sale novels---only for our ABC friends.
I read this poem once again, and wow Maggy, good stuff. Yummy. RLP
celticman | December 19, 2011 - 09:32
segues (if that is the right word) into a bit about hearts, but hey, only you could get away with it. Wonderful and well done with poem of the year.