When he arrives in the office he says ‘What’s up, slags!’
He says ‘What are you doing here, Colin you muppet,’
he says ‘Why don’t you return my calls, you pillock,’
and then he mentions his son
on a kidney dialysis machine
who he goes to see after work every day.
Suddenly he'll stop making jokes, break out of character
like an actor in a play when a mobile phone
is ringing from the audience,
'For God's sake!'
You can’t judge by his face or what he says
it’s the sound he makes when he sit down on his chair.
It’s when he puts his coat on at 5 o’clock
that transitory period from being at work
to putting coins in the hospital car park meter.
Most people aren’t that happy
so get down from the magic carpet you wish you were flying on
because most people are asking if their spectacles have been handed in to lost property
playing solitaire on their laptops
on a Megabus to London.
Of course there are people who have made it:
assistant producers at Radio 1,
waitresses at The Ivy,
Holly Branson
but you need to ignore them,
those people raking it in,
the photograph of the couple with a novelty cheque
on the front page of the local paper
shaking hands with the newsagent who sold them the ticket.
Most people are phoning work at 9.05,
‘I’ve overslept again. I’ll be there as soon as I can.’
People are at how to quit smoking seminars in church halls.
or at overrated art galleries.
'I can't believe you made me come here.'
No-one is going to say ‘Oh look, a portal,’
and you’ll close your eyes, jump through it
and whoosh into last Thursday
and this time know exactly what to say.
Comments
insertponceyfre... | January 30, 2011 - 21:51
"oh look, a portal" - god I wish someone would say that to me
the unfolding head | January 31, 2011 - 21:02
"that transitory period from being at work
to putting coins in the hospital car park meter."
- i really dig this. just great, spot on. It put me right in that carpark.
seannelson | February 1, 2011 - 01:21
Yeah, a good read. I like it, though I'm not quite sure that(as is) it lives up to the brilliant title.
mcmanaman | February 8, 2011 - 19:35
Yes, think you're right about this, it should be better. Will have another look. Thanks for taking time to read.
John
seannelson | February 9, 2011 - 18:26
thanks, though I actually like it better than my initial reaction. I might suggest selling the over-rated art gallery misery a bit better. I have to say as someone who knows unhappiness: psych wards, daily pain, poverty, etc., even over-rated art galleries seem fine(and I'm educated in and selective about art.)
friendly regards,
Sean
mcmanaman | February 10, 2011 - 01:04
Hey Sean,
the overrated art galleries is there to make fun of people who get annoyed about little things. Appreciate you taking the time to have another look, will keep going with this.
Thanks,
John
Oldwarrior | February 11, 2011 - 01:53
Well done my friend.
Excellent prose and an enjoyable read...!
seannelson | February 15, 2011 - 06:36
Well, it is very good(we can civilly disagree on whether it's poetry or prose; I think it's poetry.) It's stuck with me to a remarkable degree considering that I'm distracted and a little amnesiac. Among many things I like about the poem is the smooth transition between the first two stanzas and the next section of the poem, moving from narrative to clever examples. It seems like a poem wherein care was taken to use words adequately but not so freely as to make the piece overly wordy or clogged. Likewise, the poem deals with gritty and depressive elements of life but doesn't go anywhere overly visceral or disturbing, which is a nice change in today's world. I mentioned the lines of the poem that kept me from fully embracing the poem at first and I still can't embrace them specifically myself(if only because I as a reader simply didn't see the satire until it was explained.) But they're part of your artistic vision, which was what the entire poem came out of. Congratulations on a first rate poem!
phase2 | June 26, 2011 - 16:31
I THINK it's about the first person appearing happy because they are brave, and everyone else feeling sorry for themselves because of things which are trivial by comparison to having a very sick child. Implying people must be happy if raking it in sounds like jealousy, strengthening impression of self pity. I wondered if, at the end, the "you" felt they had said the wrong thing to the person in the first stanza, and was feeling guilty/inadequate and wanted to make amends.
I liked "the sound he makes when he sits down on his chair." An 'unwatched' sound, like the distance between work and hospital, seeming like a clue the "you" had to find, to realise that the sick child's father was maybe putting on a brash act to hide his care.