Orchestras

He says 'I don't understand why Stella turns up every week.
She can't even play cello.'

He says 'Martin's problem as a conductor
is he doesn't have that vavavoom'
the lady he's with nods

like va va voom means something.
She says 'Stella ruins it by racing through the final movement
we can't cope playing so quickly

they don't write Allegretto for a laugh.
She starts clicking her fingers
whistles the William Tell Overture.

At the bar a man answers his phone.
They order more drinks. 'The thing is' he says
'this isn't why I've practised violin every day

since I was nine fucking years old.'
He sips his white wine. She says
'This is the worst orchestra I've ever been in. I'm going to have a word

with Elaine.
I just don't want to be a part of it
I've never hated playing before' and then she says

'Anyway' and they talk about Red Dwarf
and how they've been watching it on Dave
and that it's much better than they remember it

they talk about Christmas and New Year
she invites him to hers when he says he has no plans
and she goes to the bar for more drinks

and as he sips his white wine he says
'The thing is I'm just not good enough
at violin.'