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Demands

Posted by MistakenMagic on March 23, 2009 - 17:21
from the ABC set The Poet Who Fell in Love

You ask for the moon.
I trek down into the indigo sky-mine,
pickaxe in hand. Hack
at the blue rock, until I find
a lump of ore - glowing
like a pupil-less eye - lost its stare.
I melt it down; fire it to a ring - an eclipse.
You dress your finger's neck. Content.

You ask for the river.
I stretch back into the bed sheets;
they groan - weathered banks,
as I wind in white, carving a new ice age.
Freckles frolic like fish on the surface
of my skin. You arch over me -
a bridge. Pleased.

You ask for immortality.
I share the you-less future,
leaning my neck as if it were
our willow; kissing place, teeth marks,
dark scars. I assure you that if the two
sides of my wounds brush fingers,
your name will tear them apart.
You leave, thinking there is still time,
but already it is too late.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Curse of 222 | March 23, 2009 - 23:35

"Freckles frolic like fish on the surface
of my skin." excellent alliteration and imagery. come on, admit it...you were proud when this line fell onto the page.
wonderful and beautiful and passionate...it's either who you are or you are the greatest faker of all time.

another very satisfying read.

jason

Silver Spun Sand | March 24, 2009 - 16:51

A poignant poem, Magic, beautifully written with, as usual, originality in its imagery.

" ... our willow; kissing place, teeth marks,
dark scars."

Love this line in particular.

Much enjoyed:-)

Tina xxx

MistakenMagic | March 24, 2009 - 17:14

Thank you for the comment Jason :) I have to say, trying to sound as less arrogant as possible, I am very proud of this poem - especially the ending that only really came to me at the last minute. Yes, it is all true - you'll find that with most of my love poetry!

Thanks Tina - I think you've picked out my favourite line ;)

Magic xxx

threeleafshamrock | March 24, 2009 - 20:11

Phew! I'm surprised you still have the energy to write anything Magic ;) Another HOT piece hits the paper, great stuff

Chris X

Nathan Bednarek | March 25, 2009 - 15:00

Now this is what I call brilliant imagery! The middle stanza is almost tangible. As always, Magic, well done.

Nathan.

MistakenMagic | March 25, 2009 - 17:11

Thank you so much Chris and Nathan ;)

Magic xxx

Jupiter | July 22, 2009 - 16:57

Hope the hols are going well. ;-)