For SP and RH
(6:45 pm)
She swills her red dress like wine,
baiting the bull inside. A pantomime,
spectator sport, let the audience come
and laugh like wolves to a frenzied drum.
No park bench - a music hall!
Where the rabble point and brawl.
You gorge yourselves on drama - I’ll starve you.
No more your jester. No, the fool
has discarded her bells, her burning stripes.
I stand here now, unpatterned, my final night
of performance, humbly I step forward.
Light bursts from doors; I’m deafened by the blinding roar
of the crowd and the hooves of my heart beat …
and they all throw roses at my feet.
Comments
SundaysChild | May 7, 2009 - 16:40
Very vivid. Good luck with the competition.
Jasper_Milvain | May 7, 2009 - 17:06
I agree. The imagery is very vivid. I can't get my head around it completely but I did enjoy it.
Thanks.
JM.
MistakenMagic | May 7, 2009 - 18:18
Thank you SundaysChild! This is the first time I've ever entered anything like this so I'm just treating it as a learning experience ;)
Thanks JM - this is a very autobiographical piece based on a long, complicated story, so I guess I never expected complete comprehension but if you can get something from it I'm more than happy! It's basically about me not wanting to be the victim anymore and not giving the others the satisfaction of hurting me.
Magic xxx
SundaysChild | May 7, 2009 - 18:31
Rock and roll, Magic.
I have been reading a few of your pieces and I think you have a lot of talent.
I especially liked 'Perfection' and 'Insomnia'.
They really stood out to me.
Remember, the greatest revenge is success.
MistakenMagic | May 7, 2009 - 19:02
Aww thanks SundaysChild! I've just read a couple of your poems and ditto! I'm glad you like my work, that means a lot ;)
Magic xxx
Curse of 222 | May 7, 2009 - 19:36
there is so much here that i like.the opening lines are so vivid and unique..."You gorge yourselves on drama - I’ll starve you."--perfect!..."the hooves of my heart beat …"--fantastic!...
you have a unique point of view, and i'm glad we get to peek through your eyes.
jason
Dynamaso | May 8, 2009 - 06:43
Magic, this is a pearler (sorry - not sure if Aussie vernacular translates but what I mean is it is very good). I'm still thinking about my possible entry. Good luck with yours.
MistakenMagic | May 8, 2009 - 10:43
Thank you so much Jason and Dynamaso! Hmm I've never come across 'pearler' before - though my cousins do have me saying 'cactus' and 'thongs' instead of flipflops ;)
Magic xxx
Nathan Bednarek | May 8, 2009 - 12:27
Delicious imagery with a 'Magic' dressing ;-)
A very effective poem, as always. Well done.
Nathan xox
MistakenMagic | May 8, 2009 - 18:20
Thank you Nathan! Will you be entering the competition too? ;)
Magic xxx
Bradene | May 11, 2009 - 16:50
A clever poem Magic Good Luck. Val x
MistakenMagic | May 12, 2009 - 11:59
Thank you Val! And to you too ;)
Magic xxx
jennifer | May 18, 2009 - 19:57
Fantastic imagery, love the abstract quality, am very jealous - since I have begun writing a lot of prose, the poetry won't come! Ah well, you far exceed my poetic efforts anyway, dear Target Audience!
J x
MistakenMagic | May 18, 2009 - 20:47
Thank you so much Jennifer! And me exceed you? pfff no way! And I learn from the best ;)
Magic xxx
jennifer | May 18, 2009 - 21:02
You flatterer!
J x
threeleafshamrock | May 21, 2009 - 13:34
Great piece Magic and I wish I had seen it before I put my entry in and wasted a fiver. Up to your usual high standard (unfortunately lol). Good luck, I personally love it!
Chris XX
MistakenMagic | May 22, 2009 - 14:10
Awww thank you Chris and you haven't wasted your fiver! I'm on my way to comment on your entry now and it's brilliant - good luck to you too!
Magic xxx
alessandro | May 24, 2009 - 05:40
wonderful stuff. Very vivid.
I love the last paragraph. 'Hooves of my heart' is great poetry.