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We Rowed

Posted by MistakenMagic on March 16, 2009 - 17:04
from the ABC set The Poet Who Fell in Love

Never the proud, protective lover; I was too fragile to break.
We rowed, so I clawed at your face like a rake,
slicing you to smooth and smother my ache.

Those plates you brought from Australia - bright aboriginal styles;
we rowed, so I splashed them into the kitchen tiles.
The amber shards were a chain of amber isles.

I found her letters, her smiles.Yes, the ones dripping with‘Je t’adore’.
We rowed, so I stamped you - her shadow, out the door;
discarded you. Your face, like a dropped oar.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Silver Spun Sand | March 17, 2009 - 09:55

An interesting poem, Magic. You have some nice word play here. 'Row and 'row'. Clever:-)

You also have some good internal rhyming, as well as the main rhyming scheme.

"The amber shards were a chain of amber isles." A beautiful line.

It is good to experiment and I think this poem was worth all the hard work. Well done:-)

Tina xxx

jennifer | March 17, 2009 - 12:56

I agree with everything Tina says!

J x

MistakenMagic | March 17, 2009 - 15:34

Thank you Tina and Jen ;) This one did put up a bit of a fight!

Magic xxx

Nathan Bednarek | March 18, 2009 - 15:09

A brilliant piece of poetry and so different from your usual style!

Well done.

Nathan.

MistakenMagic | March 18, 2009 - 15:51

Thank you Nathan! This was just an experiment but I'm glad it turned into something good!

Magic xxx

threeleafshamrock | March 19, 2009 - 12:46

I agree with all the above; different, clever and enjoyable. It provokes thought; that is worth the effort!

Chris XX

MistakenMagic | March 19, 2009 - 15:30

Thank you Chris ;)

Magic xxx

Curse of 222 | March 21, 2009 - 23:45

this is the third poem of yours that i've read, and i've noticed that each one has a comment saying how it's different than your normal style...and i'm starting to wonder if your style is just your style...
no matter the style, i've enjoyed reading them all.

"I found her letters, her smiles." i particularly like this...it's simple and very effective.

jason

MistakenMagic | March 22, 2009 - 11:45

Thank you so much for taking the time to look over my work Jason ;) I shall definitely return the compliment :) And I guess this is still 'my style' with just a little more attention payed to structure!

Magic xxx