Grasmere, April 11th 2:30pm
The poem is waiting,
buried in the middle of the lake.
It mutters to itself and syllables
rise in bubbles.
I stand at the water’s edge,
my bare feet sinking into the sand
that holds them in stanzas.
Rhythm spreads from the poem in rings,
vibrating the water, kissing
my toes in iambic pentameter.
It congregates around the couplet of my ankles.
The sun throws a handful
of gold coins that sing like vowels
as they sink and fish
rise to the surface as words.
Their meaning is clear.
Comments
sarah wilson | May 12, 2009 - 16:39
I really like this:-
"Kissing my toes in iambic pentameter"
Lovely
sarah
sunshine | May 12, 2009 - 16:50
some excellent phrasing and analogy. Nice work. Margot
Silver Spun Sand | May 12, 2009 - 17:42
The cherry says it all, Magic and I can only ditto what has already been said.
My favourite lines:-
The sun throws a handful
of gold coins that sing like vowels
as they sink and fish
rise to the surface as words."
Brilliant!
Tina xxx
MistakenMagic | May 12, 2009 - 17:51
Thank you Sarah, Margot and Tina! I really appreciate all your feedback ;)
Magic xxx
Jasper_Milvain | May 12, 2009 - 19:48
Really nice poem about poetting.
Love the place and date - little Wordsworthian touch!
Thanks.
JM.
MistakenMagic | May 12, 2009 - 20:45
Thank you JM - well this poem first appeared in my head whilst I was in Grasmere during Easter break so I think I owe Wordsworth for the inspiration ;)
Magic xxx
NaziWifebeater | May 12, 2009 - 21:55
I've only just realised, on second reading, how clever that line is about kissing your toes in iambic pentameter. Of course, there are five of them, to go with the couplet of your ankles. You bloody clever-clogs.
Silver Spun Sand | May 12, 2009 - 22:29
How right NWb is... on every count;-)
SundaysChild | May 12, 2009 - 22:52
Beautiful poem, Magic.
Curse of 222 | May 12, 2009 - 23:29
i don't think i can add much more to the comments before me. all of them are dead on. i'm starting to think your name is a misnomer...there is no mistake in your magic.
who uses the phrase "iambic pentameter," anyway?
jason
Dynamaso | May 13, 2009 - 03:00
Can't say much more than what has been said before. This is bloody marvellous.
MistakenMagic | May 13, 2009 - 08:28
Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments guys!!!
P.S Jason - unfortunately 'iambic pentameter' will stick with me for a while - my days of learning Shakespeare are only a year ago ;)
Magic xxx
Nathan Bednarek | May 13, 2009 - 17:27
Absolutely genius. I felt the 'bubbles' rise ;-)
A well deserved cherry as always! Well Done!
Nathan xox
MistakenMagic | May 13, 2009 - 17:37
Thank you Nathan!!! I think all my poetry starts out this way - it's hidden in my head I just have to find it!
Magic xxx
threeleafshamrock | May 16, 2009 - 10:23
beautiful Magic! It's all been said; clever clogs indeed. Class act. I am back after a fairly long absence and looking forward to catching up on all the guys work...looks like I picked the perfect place to start ;) Well done.
Chris XX
MistakenMagic | May 16, 2009 - 10:26
Chris!!! You live! Welcome back, mate! So will we be seeing lots more work from you soon? And thank you for your feedback ;)
Magic xxx
littleditty | June 11, 2009 - 00:26
magic -well delivered, cuplets and iambic images - super - keep fishing!
JoseHdz | September 27, 2010 - 05:31
Great natural rhythm/ movement..
Especially like the analogy of sun throwing coins/
Fish rising as words.
Clever indeed.
Salud.
Archie_Macjoyce | December 2, 2011 - 15:15
I remember this one... Still think it's a great poem with very clever imagery surrounding the syllables and so forth.
MistakenMagic | December 3, 2011 - 13:31
Cheers Macjoyce, haven't read this one in a looong time - thanks for bringing me back to it!
Magic x