If I knew exactly who I was
could analyse each thread of thought
traced in my labyrinthine mind
and tease reason from
incongruous actions in my past
I would share this all with you
If I could map my heart
write my desires dreams and fears
on your outstretched palm
and spell my soul
as we knelt in the sand
I would hide nothing from you
If I could read the stars
divine our paths by instinct
and plot the point of intersect
prepare myself to pour me
into you
that's what I'd do
If we knew exactly who we were
wore our shining lives like cloth-of-gold
and never regretted a shimmering instant
we would be gods
Comments
Kahdai | February 9, 2010 - 20:48
Ofcourse! (You can) & please when you can, share with me, I would like to be like that too. xx DXM
jennifer | February 10, 2010 - 17:21
Lovely sentiment, but lacks punctuation and I therefore find it alienating to read, especially with your use of enjambement.
'shimmering instant' = great imagery.
J x
Kahdai | February 10, 2010 - 20:06
enjambment-french-A technique in poetry whereby a sentence is carried over to the next line without pause. Where is this? Kp x
jennifer | February 10, 2010 - 20:34
Well, you tell me - read the poem as if it were prose, in complete sentences, ignoring line breaks, and it will become obvious.
J x
Kahdai | February 10, 2010 - 21:58
a few places I think but most effective pour me into you thats
MistressDistress | February 10, 2010 - 22:33
Yep, the enjambement was intended to give the impression of distance, the writer's feeling of detachment. The sense of things left unsaid.
Is it Emily Dickinson who allowed herself to use enjambement, or am I thinking of someone else? :)