'...Hi it's Joe... from Slow Joe Shoes, the fax you sent , only the front page came through ? I want to check through the order again...make sure I haven't missed anything out ...?'
' Ok, no problem ...five hundred black shoes ...
'Yep...'
...no leather, bright shiny plastic only...
'Yep...'
... enough glitzy shine on the shoes to reflect the spotlights...
'Yep...'
...the sizes, two hundred small, two hundred large , both lots with steel tap toe and steel tap on standard heel...
'Yep...'
... and one hundred six inch stiletto heel...
'Do you want taps on the high heels...?'
'No '
'Yep...got that...'
'Excellent, right, the delivery address... the Tate Modern by 9am 31st of January 2012 have you got all that...?'
'Yep...'
'Great, I shall send another fax , plus an email, and another recorded delivery by courier to confirm...OK...?'
'Sure...OK...'
.....................................
' Hello... Zentonalli's Deli...?'
' Yeh , Zentonalli's ...!'
' I'm calling about my order for five hundred prawn sandwiches...?'
'Five hundred prawn sandwiches...?'
'Yes ...I placed the order last week, I sent you a fax , an email
and a recorded delivery...?'
'Ahh, yes, your order, it's ready for collection! '
'No, no, no, I'm not collecting...you, have to deliver to the Tate Modern by 9am 31st of January 2012...?'
'We have to deliver...?'
'Yes , you have to deliver, that was the agreement, it was quite clearly stated on the order for ... two hundred small cut squares of brown bread , two hundred large cut squares of white ... and one hundred of mixed brown and white thick sliced bread triangles with crusts...plus one ton of the Tiger, two tons of the King , five tons of raw cold water prawns, and fifty extra large jars of mayo...and...!'
....................................
'Hi good morning Mr O'Hare, it's Julie from the Tate, I'm phoning you about the proposed Turbine Room installation?'
' I hope no problems arising is there...?'
'No, no, nothing like that, I'm running through the floor plan details you sent as we speak...just need to clarify a few points please if you don't mind...?'
' Yes of course, go ahead, please ask away... '
'Now ... suspended from the ceiling you will have one hundred six inch stiletto heel shoes... each heel impaling a giant King prawn sandwich...?
'Correct...'
'...one hundred and fifty small shoes and one hundred and fifty large laid out on the Turbine floor which is to be covered with Mayonnaise and raw cold water prawns...?'
'Correct...'
'... two parallel lines of shoes with the smallest placed at the window end of the Turbine room, the largest at the entrance... ?'
'Correct...'
'... four slices of brown and white bread on each shoe representing sails and tiger prawns threaded through the shoe laces ?
'Correct...'
'...on the Millennium Bridge, one hundred tap dancing shoes in a synchronised routine leading the visitors into the main foyer for the opening day...?'
'Correct...'
'And what about the...?'
Comments
oldpesky | January 4, 2012 - 20:12
This would be the best exhibit in the Tate. Oh how I wish it was true
hudsonmoon | January 5, 2012 - 01:55
lol, yes. I'd pay to see it.
Rich
Highhat | January 5, 2012 - 05:53
Well done Scozen- this is a brilliant competition entry. It has my vote. Good luck
;)Pia
Silver Spun Sand | January 5, 2012 - 17:10
It's got mine as well...with knobs on;-)
All the luck in the world with it.
Sand Lady;-)
ScoZen | January 5, 2012 - 17:39
"...Oh how I wish it was true..."
Of course it is.
Anyway I'm waiting to see a version from your good self.
Perhaps a giant Loch Lomond prawn.?
Thanks for commenting OP.
ps has your boy signed up yet?
ScoZen | January 5, 2012 - 17:42
No need to pay Rich.
In March the show goes to MoMA New York, just help yourself to some free prawns.
ScoZen | January 5, 2012 - 17:49
Hej and thanks for the vote of confidence Pia
bedste ønsker og tage sig
ScoZen | January 5, 2012 - 17:51
You are a gem sand lady.
Thanks once more for your kind support.
Regards
celticman | January 5, 2012 - 22:44
sorry it's a prawn and black shoes competition. You've overshot by 600, but good try!...grumble, grumble, good luck anyway.
ScoZen | January 6, 2012 - 20:54
I shall make amends and will post in another one.
It's all for a good cause.
Perhaps on the theme of the "Loch Ness Prawnster"*
And good luck to you
Blessing | January 14, 2012 - 23:43
This did make me laugh ScoZen, especially when I wondered whether they would be able to use the museum again following this exhibit! Be cool for cats though. You definitely have a thing about food going on ...
oldpesky | February 4, 2012 - 14:14
Hello again scozen. Young pesky hasn't signed up yet but he's still attending and enjoying his creative writing class. Maybe we'll hear from him before the summer. Fingers crossed.
Highhat | February 4, 2012 - 18:13
Dear OP-I hope he has inherited something but don't be worried he follows his own course- we're not worried just filled with love...
;)Pia