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Posted by shoe on April 3, 2011 - 16:47
from the ABC set Some kind of poetry

They have begun to come in
from the cold

Jostling for space
on the window sills...

...despite the dangers
of radiators

Tending toward
gossamery light

Groups gather
on the landing...

...dangling spidery babies
over the bannister

A pretty maiden-hair
hogs the bathroom

Mother-in-law holds her tongue
in the kitchen

The mantle plays host
to evening prayers

Confused, Jasmine
comes out

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Comments

fatboy74 | April 3, 2011 - 20:14

I liike this shoe - strange but demanding more reads, and I agree with you about punctuation in poetry as well - I over punctuate mine to the point where I confuse myself and I'm gonna start to try and use less. ATB Fatboy. :-)

shoe | April 4, 2011 - 16:19

Thanks fb, is it too cryptic? maybe I took too many words out!!! good luck with the de-punctuating,:}

fatboy74 | April 4, 2011 - 16:45

I thought they were your overwintering plants coming in from the frost? Works a treat. :-)

ScoZen | April 4, 2011 - 17:13

Enjoyed.

But...? "...Mother-in-law holds her tongue..."

Well, well. I have never,ever, known that happen?

maggyvaneijk | April 5, 2011 - 09:38

I love all the little details of this poem, it reads as if I'm gazing at a painting

shoe | April 5, 2011 - 11:44

Fb, glad it made sense,

Scozen, ha,ha, poetic license!!

Thanks Maggie, I really appreciate your thoughts.

Silver Spun Sand | April 5, 2011 - 12:12

Love this one, shoe and also the 'non-punctuation'. It works well;-)

Tina

Overthetop1 | April 5, 2011 - 23:18

Some really great imagery here - and yep, the puncuation thing makes an extra - interesting read - if that makes any sense. God - dashes, commas, quotation marks - I am hopeless at all that!

Sooz006 | April 6, 2011 - 11:16

Love the banisters line. Nice one.

shoe | April 6, 2011 - 16:41

Thanks Tina, glad to know it worked for you,:}

Hi Ott1, I try to get away with it as often as I can, simply because I find it so hard to get right, some poems of course need it, so back to the grind!!!

Sooz, Thank you, I think that's my favourite line too!