Full Package

He told me he had it all,
Wide screen telly,
Stack of Dvd's, Xbox the lot,
So when I went round,
He was charmingly sound,
Cool as ice,
Got me a beer,
Always being really nice,
But then it all came clear,
one thing was missing,
I didn't dare ask,
So I stumbled to the question,
He poured another glass,

So what do you do for a hobby then mate?
I told him recently I joined a club,
Well I like to watch films really,
Thats good, well me I like to debate,
We hit it off,
Two great buddys,
Just chilling, having a laugh,

Don't think im being daft,
But is that all you do,
He give me a peculiar look,
I looked at my glass,

Well ya see Will,
I've got all of sky sports,
In fact Ive got the full package,
Every channel at my disposal,
Im a bit of a telly cabage,
Oh right, my head tilted,

Later I found out why,
Turns out on his so called wedding day,
His future wife left him stranded,
Looks like a case of a man Jilted,
Poor man,
Spent his days on a sofa watching soaps,
Now he's 35 and life seems to be going slow,
Listen mate,
The main thing is,
You don't lose Hope.

Heres a toast,
To the man with the full package,
Only £40 a month,