We're All Just Trying to Connect

One of my many life lessons has been around 'Boundaries’.  When you are boundaryless, you don’t know it.  You may deduce that you are on the planet to be hated, that every overwhelming situation must be bolted from (you won’t consciously think this, you’ll be too busy bolting to think).  You may also attract others who are themselves boundaryless, so never feel heard, seen, focussed or safe.  The good news is, it’s just some behaviour you didn’t learn growing up.  You have a choice; you could waste the rest of your life figuring out who to resent the most for this outcome.   (However, nothing will change, and anyway, resentment gives you jowls).  Or, you could study some books on boundarylessness and put some actions into practice.  It’s horrible at first, you won’t be elegant doing it, but as soon as you do, those situations magically stop.  Of course, a whole raft of new Life lessons will start, but I only have 300 words. 

On the trip yesterday, a lovely gregarious person started getting on my nerves.  I didn’t notice at the time that I was dysregulating, and bordering on being rude, just to make her stop.  I realised this today while pushing heels down on the yoga mat and a micro-rant popped into my head about said gregarious person.  It went something like ‘Stop talking at me!  I am not a giant ear for you to talk at!’  (there was some swearing too, but word count…)

I could avoid going on any more trips. Or, I could let her know, sometimes, I need timeout from talking and standing too close.  Could we make an agreement that if I do the universal timeout signal, we take a break please?

Note to self:  DO NOT SAY, “Otherwise, I’ll have to kill you”.

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