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MUCKING AROUND WITH OTHERS' SONG TITLES

Nothing compares 2 U, you're beautiful.

Larry & Mick Meet Lairy & Mark and Get Terribly Confused

'This is confusing,' said Larry. 'It certainly is,' said Mick.

Swim

Swim against the current harness the waves sovenier kept in pocket a smoke on the beach loat on the water hill side sunshine mountains continue off the page into infinity...... growing wings
Cherry

Reiki

She held her hands out like forgiveness for all the sinew and pavement I mounted like a playground, she offered me socks and sleep her eyes gummed shut like my tin of vaseline.

Gaul and wormwood

Needs editing
Cherry

Condition

'I think you will find that the conditions and cautions of this parternship have expired.' This is how he put it my banker boyfriend, his hair as set a s a scallop his tongue as scrubbed as a club latrine,

That must have been hard

The first stanza of what I will write into a poem very soon.

Glot gift

Another speed poem.

Nurps'n'Burps

'How many Nurps in a Burp?' I said

My Dog is Not a B*ll*ck Coaster!

When you're sitting in my chair, Be careful what's already there.

Romance

Written for my employers. They sometimes pay me in whisky for humorous, rhymy call centre-themed poems. I have a T-shirt proclaiming me the call centre poet.

Stronger

I didn't build muscle today Or devout hours in the gym I did however realise I'm much more lovable than him

Waiting

Sometimes you must sit and wait Trust to fortune, accept your fate...

No Hope of Parole

..."Are you even listening to me?" she accused him, in a harsh and hurt tone which cut through the fog. To a lot of men, it would sound like a question, albeit a pissed off one. Nate knew differently. It was a statement. And if looks could kill, June would be put in prison without hope of parole...

Journal 16th-18th Sept

When asking the Universe for a man you can love unconditionally, who also loves you, ask for one who lives close by and mention that a monogamous sexual relationship is also a required part of the deal.

Journal 15th Sept

Sometimes you just have to get out of the house. Which can lead you to do out of character things. Not a bad rule to have. At least once a week.

Journal 14th Sept

"I feel better than James Brown Was Not Was

VENUS IS ONE

Light-hearted poem.

While they cuddle under the duvet, their neighbours suffer from tinnitus

"They're not nearly as in love as we are. "Are we that sickening? "Nah. We don't even snog in public. "Except that one time, remember when we smooched in Heigham Park? "And all the children went momentarily blind? "Yeah. "Yeah.

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