Sunset

Really like this Beeme, particularly the first stanza and that fractured bone image. :-)

Yes Beeme - it's the same image that stands out for me too. I also particularly like the first two lines that lead into the poem. xx

Thank you Fatboy, I stumbled upon how to describe the bone image so I'm glad you think it works well now :) Really happy you enjoyed.

Thank you very much Seashore, I'm encouraged that that particular image works now. Very glad you enjoyed :)

Beeme xx

Hi there, Beeme. Really like this; some fantastic imagery. Just a couple of suggestions regarding your 'ing' endings in the second stanza. To explain this is the way I see it:-

Sepia angel wings
cup her ashen face;
smudge elfin features
against the skyline
patches of fleshy pink
hang like Chinese lanterns,
ornaments of hope
slowly descend
with incandescent glow.

By removing those endings, you accentuate the lovely internal rhyme of 'cup' and 'smudge' and 'descend' and 'incandescent'. Also, removing the 'an' from the last line helps the poem to 'flow' better.

It also makes a nice contrast with your first stanza, which is more dreamlike, and where the 'ing' endings work well;-)

Again, just suggestions. As I always say, 'it is your poem', and a very good one.

Tina xx

Thank you vey much Tina, I really appreacite the advise, I agree. I've adjusted the second Stanza now, really happy you enjoyed this one xxx

Hey - that's great now, Beeme;-) The icing, on the already delicious cake...speaking of which I've made myself peckish, so shall go and put the kettle on and have a biscuit or two. Enjoy your weekend.

Tina xx

Have a lovely weekend too Tina :]

Beeme xx

Delightful Beeme :)

Hey - Beeme, you got a cherry! More than deserved;-)

Tina xx

Thank you very much SundaysChild :] xx

Thank you Tina :)-for your help too. xx
Thankyou for the cherry editors!

Very lovely, well deserved cherry.

Thank you very much Shoe xx

This is gorgeous, Beeme :)

'The sky's hazy
champagne waves circle
the bone white moon.'

- I'm simply in love with this image, stunning :)

Rachel xx

Thanks, so much Rachel :-) I'm so glad you liked this one so much! xxx

Love the 'champagne waves' and chinese lantern images, Beeme. Such a beautiful and fragrant piece! Well done on the cherry :)

Magic xxx

Thank you so much Magic! Nice to hear from you, really happy you enjoyed :) x

Beeme xx