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Dog eat dog

Posted by Highhat on June 16, 2011 - 20:03

The dawn distance
of the sandy shore
brings the dream
to a belief and more

pebbles shifting
as tide makes an ebb
the flow repeating
fine structured web

leave alone folly
to side this cut
drawn upon driftwood
ancient tarry gut

white chalk shadow
intrinsic play
From seaweed cloth
Waiting for the day

dog eat dog
keeping meters apart
sword of sorrow
edges away from start

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Beeme | June 16, 2011 - 20:40

I like it, it has a very lyrical feeling. I think the second stanza is wonderful :)

Beeme xx

Highhat | June 16, 2011 - 20:48

Thanks a lot Beeme-

;)Pia

Cavalcaderl | June 16, 2011 - 21:05

new High_hat
Really nice flowing poem
Like it all, but stanza to me is
the fourth one down. All has like a lilt to me.
Starts White chalk shadow
intrinsic play
From seaweed cloth
Waiting for the day
julie xx

Highhat | June 16, 2011 - 21:18

Thanks very much Julie- its late here- 11 o'clock now
see you have a nice weekend with lots of sunshine and warmth.
atb

Pia ;))

barryj1 | June 16, 2011 - 22:08

The poem has a nice, lilting flow.

fatboy74 | June 16, 2011 - 22:21

Agree with those comments - nice one Pia. :-)

Highhat | June 17, 2011 - 05:45

Thanks Barry for reading and leaving a comment. Glad you enjoyed this one

;)Pia

Highhat | June 17, 2011 - 05:46

Thank you very much FB for the taking the time to read this one and leave such a kind comment.
atb

;)Pia

skinner_jennifer | June 17, 2011 - 07:10

This is brilliant Pia,
I think one of my favourites of yours.

Jenny.

Highhat | June 17, 2011 - 07:38

Why thank you very much Jenny- that is so kind of you. I really appreciate you reading an leaving such a nice comment.
atb have a beautiful weekend

;)Pia

seashore | June 17, 2011 - 08:03

Agree with everyone else. No need to be unsure about this Pia - it really works! Coral xx

maisie | June 17, 2011 - 09:18

i believe this is the best of your's i've seen so far!
congrats!

Highhat | June 17, 2011 - 11:05

Thank you for telling me Coral. That is very kind of you. Glad that you stopped by. really appreciate it.

;)Pia

Highhat | June 17, 2011 - 11:06

Wow maisie- thanks a lot. So glad you enjoyed this .

;)Pia

Silver Spun Sand | June 17, 2011 - 12:24

I think this works splendidly, Pia, and the rhythm, reminiscent of the gentle ebb and flow of the tide. Really enjoyed it;-)

Tina

Highhat | June 17, 2011 - 15:17

Thank you for reading Tina

;)Pia

fey_mouse | June 18, 2011 - 19:29

I liked the rhythm too, and great descriptions "tarry gut" and "distant dawn" and "flow repeating". Lovely poem

phase2 | June 18, 2011 - 19:31

Sorry, that was me in above comment. Don't read fey_mouse stuff it is dire

Highhat | June 18, 2011 - 20:22

Okay I won't then Phase2- thank you very much for your comment. I'm glad you enjoyed

;)Pia

sarahprowls | June 29, 2011 - 11:36

i love your word play - very evocative

Highhat | June 29, 2011 - 12:09

Thank you for reading sarah- glad you enjoyed this one.

;)Pia

Nolan | July 9, 2011 - 19:30

Quite good Highhat! “dog eat dog keeping meters apart” the crouched circling and bared fangs. One can almost hear the ominous threatening growls. Reminds again of White Fang: "Eat or be Eaten”. And nature, the cycles of life “as tide makes an ebb the flow repeating”.

Keep well! Nolan