Dog eat dog

By Highhat

Thu, 16 Jun 2011
  • 1041 reads
22 comments
 

The dawn distance
of the sandy shore
brings the dream
to a belief and more

pebbles shifting
as tide makes an ebb
the flow repeating
fine structured web

leave alone folly
to side this cut
drawn upon driftwood
ancient tarry gut

white chalk shadow
intrinsic play
From seaweed cloth
Waiting for the day

dog eat dog
keeping meters apart
sword of sorrow
edges away from start

Certificate U
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by Beeme on
I like it, it has a very lyrical feeling. I think the second stanza is wonderful :) Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks a lot Beeme- ;)Pia

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new High_hat Really nice flowing poem Like it all, but stanza to me is the fourth one down. All has like a lilt to me. Starts White chalk shadow intrinsic play From seaweed cloth Waiting for the day julie xx

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks very much Julie- its late here- 11 o'clock now see you have a nice weekend with lots of sunshine and warmth. atb Pia ;))

Submitted by barryj1 on
The poem has a nice, lilting flow.

barryj1

Submitted by fatboy74 on
Agree with those comments - nice one Pia. :-)

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Thanks Barry for reading and leaving a comment. Glad you enjoyed this one ;)Pia

Submitted by Highhat on
Thank you very much FB for the taking the time to read this one and leave such a kind comment. atb ;)Pia

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
This is brilliant Pia, I think one of my favourites of yours. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Why thank you very much Jenny- that is so kind of you. I really appreciate you reading an leaving such a nice comment. atb have a beautiful weekend ;)Pia

Submitted by seashore on
Agree with everyone else. No need to be unsure about this Pia - it really works! Coral xx

Submitted by maisie on
i believe this is the best of your's i've seen so far! congrats!

maisie angel Guess what?  I'm still alive!

Submitted by Highhat on
Thank you for telling me Coral. That is very kind of you. Glad that you stopped by. really appreciate it. ;)Pia

Submitted by Highhat on
Wow maisie- thanks a lot. So glad you enjoyed this . ;)Pia

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I think this works splendidly, Pia, and the rhythm, reminiscent of the gentle ebb and flow of the tide. Really enjoyed it;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Thank you for reading Tina ;)Pia

Submitted by fey_mouse on
I liked the rhythm too, and great descriptions "tarry gut" and "distant dawn" and "flow repeating". Lovely poem

 

Submitted by phase2 on
Sorry, that was me in above comment. Don't read fey_mouse stuff it is dire

 

Submitted by Highhat on
Okay I won't then Phase2- thank you very much for your comment. I'm glad you enjoyed ;)Pia

Submitted by sarahprowls on
i love your word play - very evocative

Submitted by Highhat on
Thank you for reading sarah- glad you enjoyed this one. ;)Pia

Submitted by Nolan on
Quite good Highhat! “dog eat dog keeping meters apart” the crouched circling and bared fangs. One can almost hear the ominous threatening growls. Reminds again of White Fang: "Eat or be Eaten”. And nature, the cycles of life “as tide makes an ebb the flow repeating”. Keep well! Nolan