Let's start again
By Highhat
Fri, 06 May 2011
- 3507 reads
30 comments
I would do it all once more.
Can we start again?
You would live your healthy life;
mine would be filled with pain.
Worry would be my faithful companion.
But I’d do it all again,
in sickness and in health.
Where or who would I be
without the life I have led?
I have always dreamt it differently
but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I would like to feel the joy
all over again;
the joy that drowned out the sorrow;
the exquisite agony,
again and again.
Always wanting more.
Even thrown under a bus
or hit by a train.
You can give
it to me again and again.
The hot sun burning
and the cold winter snow.
Who would I be?
I don’t know!
Left in the desert I did survive.
So let’s start again!
I feel alive!
Give me fifty years again
and I’ll trip up
in all the same places.
Another time I will
follow through with grace.
My struggle will stand sentinel
to my need for this.
Let’s start again.
right from scratch.
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Comments
not easy to write with this
not easy to write with this prompt in the way, it always seems to suggest a failed romance...
I'd think of cutting it into stanza's personally because it might just make it easier to read and focus on when editing...
maisie 
Guess what? I'm still alive!
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Yes it does it for me, have
Yes it does it for me, have you considered swopping 'agony' for simple 'pain' - it makes it rhyme (old hat) yet it also makes it go better when read aloud.
its yours you know.. you must always do it your way!
maisie Guess what? I'm still alive!
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A poem, straight from the
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
A poem, straight from the heart, it would seem, Pia, and a more than worthy entry for the competition;-)
Tina
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'Give me fifty years
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
'Give me fifty years again
and I’ll trip up
in all the same places.
Another time I will
follow through with grace.'
- I love these lines, Pia!
Really enjoyed this and good luck with it in the comp :)
Rachel xx
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I really hope you do well in
Permalink Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
I really hope you do well in the competition with
this entry Pia. I'm sure you worked really hard on
it. You show a lot of feelings in this piece.
Jenny.
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This is very good Pia - one
Permalink Submitted by Overthetop1 on
This is very good Pia - one from the heart. Good luck.
Overthetop1
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The lines that Rachel picked
The lines that Rachel picked out are also my favourites, really good Pia you have made this work so well. :-)
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At once regretful and
Permalink Submitted by The Big Bad G on
At once regretful and triumphant. To struggle is human, to learn from struggling a good start. A fitting testament to warts 'n' all, I wholeheartedly approve!
I am going to disagree here though, the lines that pull it all together for me are:
'My struggle will stand sentinel
to my need for this.'
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I'd put a comma after 'game'
I'd put a comma after 'game' and then all will be perfect, thus:
'Another time, I will
follow through with grace.'
Apparently, 'warts an' all' is what Cromwell said to his portrait artist when he was 'king' - so they say in Ely (special place - Cromwell's home town - that's where they, ironically, filmed 'Elizabeth, the Golden Age' or bits of) ... am I off-peessed? lol
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Good knowledge Animan, I'll
Permalink Submitted by The Big Bad G on
Good knowledge Animan, I'll have to remember that.
Pia, sorry for being too abstract, I meant that I like the message here - that the lows are as important as the highs in life and we should embrace it. Life would be boring if it was perfect, anyway!
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Hej Highhat. "...The hot
Hej Highhat.
"...The hot sun burning and the cold winter snow.
Who would I be? I don’t know!..."
You would emerge unscathed as Highhat of course.
Passe (I think?)
ps
good luck with the comp
ScoZen
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Hi Pia, I love the
Hi Pia,
I love the stanza:
"Where or who would I be
without the life I have led?
I have always dreamt it differently
but I wouldn’t change it for the world."
I guess we can all think of the mistakes we have made or what we could / should have done differently, but as you rightfully say, we would not then be who and where we are.
Good luck to you too.
kheldar :--)
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Dearest Pia, your poem is
Permalink Submitted by luigi_pagano on
Dearest Pia, your poem is full of optimism and gratefulness for a life lived to the full with pain and joy in equal measure and yet without regret for any setback. A good piece well expressed.
Luigi xx
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"Where or who would I be
"Where or who would I be
without the life I have led?
I have always dreamt it differently"
"Give me fifty years again
and I’ll trip up
in all the same places.
Another time I will
follow through with grace."
Always admired those who can pack deep stuff in a few lines and still make it easy to understand
"Even thrown under a bus
or hit by a train.
You can give
it to me again and again."
Made me smile cos reminds me of rhythm in Green Eggs and Ham by Dr Seuss -
I like them in a box, I like them with a fox
etc
Loads of ideas
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Wow! another lot of
Permalink Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Wow! another lot of cherries, well done Pia.
You nearly have a bowl full in one day.
Jenny.
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