The Clown Squad

The clown squad gave chase and I ran as fast as my clown shoes would take me. Unfortunately, I grabbed the wrong pair from the locker room, and the ones I now ran in were ridiculous in length, causing me to stumble and prat fall many times in my effort to avoid the foolish mitts of those mad merry makers.

I tried to signal for help from a duo of police officers on foot patrol, but, having been trained to do so since early childhood, they just ignored my frantic nose honking and laughed at our antics.

Curses for being the silent clown in a world of talking buffoons! Even my tried and true mime improvisations were of no use to me now. Those policemen must have been awful charades players. Or just plain stupid.

As the clown squad gained ground. I could feel the tickle of their dreaded New Year’s Eve party blowers licking the back of my neck. Whipped cream pies and spritzer water whizzed by my ears as I somersaulted and cart-wheeled myself down a dark alley only to exit into heavy traffic on Main street, where I just missed getting the business end of an industrial steamroller. Fortunately for me, my persuers weren’t so lucky. The six of them now lay flatter than a fancy French crepe.

I tipped my daisy hat to the throngs who came to lay witness to the squashed buffoons, then reached into the hat and helped myself to one of the two prawn sandwiches I had purchased at the clown cafeteria. I was hungry as a circus lion after my run, and the tender delicacy was delightful in taste and texture. The other prawn sandwich I tore in half and stuffed into the toes of my large black shoes. They now fit perfectly and I was able to walk away with ease from my current dilemma. But more clowns will be coming. There’s no stopping them.

Forgive me. You must be wondering what this is all about.

My name is Morris. I’m a renegade clown. I had stolen the clown squads plans to populate the world with fools, and now they’re after me.
What? You never heard of the Clown Squad? Well, let me clue you in. They’re out there and they’ll be coming to a town like yours. In fact, they may already be there. So be careful who you vote for this election day. Your future counts on it.

Note: The above public service announcement from the Anti-Politician League was pulled from the air after many complaints from the Clown Industry, most major political parties and voters who found comfort in having the wool pulled over their eyes.