"You will love again the stranger who was your self."
- Derek Walcott
In a daze of lavender oil and mirtazapine dreams,
I go looking for her. Having wandered
on the wrong side of the River Wear for weeks,
I do not continue on to Prebends Bridge,
instead, turn left, past the old boat house,
now on the 'right' side of the river -
hoping to glimpse her smoking, brooding
yet content, by the benches. But no sign:
I'll have to walk further, retrace my steps,
back, back before all this began.
Back to Yorkshire, October, my woods -
but the fallen tree is faun-less. My hill,
the campfire scar-smudge... No luck.
Back to summer then, France, a dirt track
through a cornfield in St Juire... Not here.
Further still - July, a terracotta bed, where
"I love you" made its debut... No clues.
Abersoch, the windy dunes where she crept
for a sly cigarette - I find her footprints,
discarded butts, darkened sand where she wept.
I'm running now, back, back, back,
Oxford armchairs, Russia, London,
November lurks, deceivingly
non-descript, in my vision, then bang!
I'm heading back into the expanse
of the you-less past... Australia,
the slender gum trees racing to keep up
with the car. Now Saltburn, Sunday school,
Saltaire, skipping ropes, scraped knees,
and our long-felled apple tree...
But I can't find her, she's not here.
Exhausted, defeated, I traipse back
to the present, up the hill to Mary's.
Slump into my still-foreign Fergusson room -
and stop, stunned. She's there, in the mirror,
with a smirk - waiting for my return.
I approach cautiously, press my fingers to the silver,
and pull away an old, familiar skin; slip it on
like a favourite sweater. Now I recognise
my reflection. "Found you," I whisper.
Comments
skinner_jennifer | February 21, 2011 - 16:56
Hello Magic,
It's good to hear from you again, you have been
away far to long.
This is such a nostalgic piece, it seems so long
ago, since you left for Durham and now here you
are once again writing such beautiful poetry.
Thankyou so much, hope things are well with you.
Jenny.
MistakenMagic | February 21, 2011 - 17:01
Hello Jenny! It feels good to be back - and you're right, it has been far too long! Thanks for your lovely comment :)
Magic xxx
Beeme | February 21, 2011 - 22:54
It's great to see some new poetry from you Magic. I agree with jenny, it's a lovely nostalgic piece with many great images and the last lines are absolutely stunning. In typical 'Magic' style, your poetry enchanted me. I wonder where all of your delicious imagery comes from (and whether I can borrow any?) ;)
Beeme xx
fatboy74 | February 21, 2011 - 23:02
This is absolutely brilliant magic, the seaqrching for the self through memory is done with such skill and your vocab choices are wonderful throughout, skilfull rhyme and half rhyme that never intrudes but shows this took some crafting. Superb. :-)
MistakenMagic | February 21, 2011 - 23:12
Thank you, Beeme! I'm a terrible nostalgia addict - so this was actually good fun to write. Glad you enjoyed ;)
Magic xxx
MistakenMagic | February 21, 2011 - 23:13
Thanks, fatboy! Glad you picked up on those rhymes :)
Magic xxx
RachelPatricia | February 22, 2011 - 00:56
Way-hay, she's back!
Every poem of your is a journey, Magic, and I love where you lead your reader to. Opening line grabs you instantly, second stanza is a visual dream and the final lines left me smiling and happily exhausted - it felt like I'd done a round trip of the globe by the end, but in the most thoroughly enjoyable of ways!
Thanks for reading Rylie's poem, too, by the way (I'm waiting for her to read your comment herself, but just had to use this opportunity to say thank you myself) :)
Please tell me that in your absence you've knocked up a few more corkers like this one - can't wait for more ;o)
Brilliant returning piece and well done on the cherry,
Rachel xx
Dynamaso | February 22, 2011 - 06:20
Magic, this is stunning - so rich and vibrant plus a great pay off in the last line. Just brilliant!
Silver Spun Sand | February 22, 2011 - 08:51
I cannot add to what has been said already, dear Magic. Except perhaps to say, how very special this poem is to me. It is everything that everyone has said...and much, much more.
Tina xxx
Highhat | February 22, 2011 - 08:55
This is a brilliant poem Magic- really well done. I thought you might be looking for yourself when I was a bit into the poem. Very original.
;)Pia
MistakenMagic | February 22, 2011 - 09:52
Thank you, Rachel, for your lovely comment! Glad you enjoyed globe-trotting with me ;)
Magic xxx
MistakenMagic | February 22, 2011 - 09:53
Thanks, Mark! Great to hear from you again. The ending took a while to wangle, so I'm glad you think I've pulled it off!
Magic xxx
MistakenMagic | February 22, 2011 - 09:54
Thank you so much, Tina. It is certainly a special poem to me, glad it is for you too ;)
Magic xxx
MistakenMagic | February 22, 2011 - 09:55
Thanks, Pia! The poem actually sprung from reading 'Love After Love' by Derek Walcott - another poem about finding yourself :)
Magic xxx
shoe | February 22, 2011 - 10:42
I can only add my agreement to the above and say I'm glad you found yourself right where you are meant to be!
MistakenMagic | February 22, 2011 - 12:16
Thanks, Shirley! :)
Magic xxx
insertponceyfre... | February 23, 2011 - 22:38
this one is really really good! So full of movement. well done magic
MistakenMagic | February 24, 2011 - 00:09
Thank you, insert!
Magic xxx
fatboy74 | February 24, 2011 - 23:34
Congrats on POW, richly deserved for a brilliant return. :-)
seashore | February 25, 2011 - 06:51
A journey beautifully told.
MistakenMagic | February 25, 2011 - 10:13
Thank you, fatboy! It's good to be back :) And thank you, seashore - glad you enjoyed the journey!
Magic xxx
barryj1 | February 26, 2011 - 02:34
I was going to draw attention to several lines in particular that stood out, but the ending was so clever, I'll just say what a poignantly beautiful and ephemeral bit of writing and leave it at that.
simonbarget (not verified) | February 26, 2011 - 10:02
Something nice and chunky about this
MistakenMagic | February 26, 2011 - 11:49
Thank you so much barryj1 and simonbarget! Glad you enjoyed :)
Magic xxx
kheldar | February 26, 2011 - 19:15
Rebecca, this is simply brilliant.
:--) xxx
MistakenMagic | February 26, 2011 - 23:42
Thanks for stopping by, David! Glad you like :)
Magic xxx
littleditty | February 27, 2011 - 02:34
magic -this is so lovely, i knew where you were ending up so the whirlwind descriptive tour was all enjoyable -i have an idea...you could cut 'in the mirror' -as by the end it is well shown. Good read -enjoyed Magic xxx
littleditty | February 27, 2011 - 02:38
like all the sounds you've got going on in this one too! mirror, familiar, silver, whisper -super!
MistakenMagic | February 27, 2011 - 11:19
Hi ld! Great to hear from you :) I understand what you're saying about 'in the mirror' but I'll sheepishly say I really want to keep it simply because it's the title of one of my favourite songs which inspired the poem! Thank you for your feed back anyway, much appreciated :)
Magic xxx
littleditty | March 1, 2011 - 16:34
Ah right - there it should stay then :) Monster in the mirror by Animal from Sesame Street? No, didnt think so -bravo Magic!
MistakenMagic | March 1, 2011 - 16:47
Actually it's 'In the Mirror' by Back Ted N Ted, doubt you will have heard of him ;)
Magic xxx
RachelPatricia | March 3, 2011 - 23:10
Almost a week late to the party but I got here, Magic - well done on POW! And I'll just say whilst I'm here that your new one's brilliant too, really loving your prosetry at the minute ;o)
Many belated congrats to you,
Rachel xx
MistakenMagic | March 4, 2011 - 08:15
Better late than never, Rachel - come join the party! Really glad you love both my latest ;)
Magic xxx
Kahdai | March 19, 2011 - 12:43
Great Magic! :) A lot of it made me smile asif I remember it myself and well ofcourse yes I do too xxx K
threeleafshamrock | April 2, 2011 - 09:25
I too smirked!
Wonderful read...
Chris XXXX
MistakenMagic | April 2, 2011 - 11:43
Thanks so much for taking the time to catch up with my work, Chris ;) Glad you enjoyed!
Magic xxx