It was the biggest turkey ever, 84 lbs the shopkeeper said. Dirk’s girlfriend teased him, saying “You’re only 81 lbs yourself, he must have meant ounces.”
But the shopkeeper was right, when the delivery arrived the turkey was nearly as tall as Dirk, and broader. It was also still alive, not dead, plucked and certainly not ready to stuff. It leapt out of its box in furious mood, hungry for Christmas dinner.
Dirk was no match for it. The turkey plucked him, slung him in the oven and cooked him on Gas Mark 5 for 13 and a half hours.
Comments
insertponceyfre... | December 24, 2010 - 06:36
brilliant! Made me laugh - thank you for posting it
rjnewlyn | December 24, 2010 - 14:33
A welcome antidote to everything else Christmassy at the moment. A lesson to us all.
Rob
tcook | December 24, 2010 - 16:03
This is our Facebook and Twitter pick of the day.
Join us on Facebook at ABCtales.com
Join us on Twitter @tcookabctales
Get a great reading recommendation most days.
seashore | December 28, 2010 - 13:05
I've only just caught up with this and as a bah humbug sort of of person (and a vegetarian to boot) it really raised a chortle. Nice one!
Terrence Oblong | December 30, 2010 - 17:44
Thanks for all the nice comments. I've been in an offline world for the past few days so it was an unexpected treat to find that this little bit of fun was ABC's pick of the day.
lwilkinson | January 3, 2011 - 15:04
Cameo this late via Twitter, but it made me laugh out loud. The bird's revenge.