Tales of Larry and Mick

By pepsoid

All of the 'Tales of Larry and Mick' will be found here!

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Award Winning Sausages

By pepsoid on Fri, 14 Feb 2014

"Meaty!" said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Banana Bandana Bonanza!

By pepsoid on Sun, 16 Nov 2014

"Look at all the bananas!" said Larry. "And the bandanas!" said Mick. "It's a banana bandana bonanza!" said Larry and Mick in unison. [ fin ]
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Ding-a-Ling

By pepsoid on Sat, 08 Nov 2014

"Morris dancing?" said Mick. "That rings a bell." "Oh," said Larry; "har-de har." "No, seriously," said Mick. "Eh?" said Larry. "Never mind," said...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Elderly Discourse

By pepsoid on Sun, 16 Mar 2014

"Mrs Tanner had a fall," said Larry. "Oh dear," said Mick. "How old is she now?" "Twenty-three," said Larry. "These things come to us all." "What...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Facial

By pepsoid on Sun, 02 Nov 2014

1. "He's got a beard," said Larry. Pizza. Stuffed crust. "Spicy chicken?" 2. "He's got a beard," said Mick. He was on an IT help desk. Have you tried...
Surreal
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
1 likes

Flap

By pepsoid on Fri, 07 Nov 2014

They were driving along and suddenly there was a big bird in the middle of the road. "Watch out for that hazard!" said Larry. "It's not a hazard, it'...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Full Cream

By pepsoid on Sat, 19 Oct 2013

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do"...
Humour
Story
Certificate U
Cherry

Larry & Mick Borrow a Time Machine and Take a Trip to the Old Wild West

By pepsoid on Sun, 11 Sep 2005

'Raiders of the Lost Car Park by Robert Rankin, Falling Sideways by Tom Holt and a time machine.' 'Uhuh.' 'That will be £1.50 for a week's loan of the time machine.' 'What if I return it last Friday?' 'Erm...' 'Only joking! There you go' - Mick handed the librarian three shiny fifty pence pieces, gathered his stuff and left. Ooh, Larry will be so excited, thought Mick, as he trundled off down the road. Imagine the fun we can have with a time machine!
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
Cherry

Larry & Mick Build a Rocket to the Moon

By pepsoid on Fri, 23 Sep 2005

'Do you remember when we built a rocket to the moon, friend Mick?' 'Ahh, those heady days of youth...' 'How old were we then?' 'We were fourteen, friend Larry.' 'Fourteen years of age and misunderstood.' 'Even I didn't understand us.' 'Well you always were a bit slow...'
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry & Mick Build the Biggest Catapult Ever Seen Using Only the Contents of the Freezer

By pepsoid on Tue, 06 Sep 2005

'What's that you've got in the freezer there, Larry?' 'An Enormous Catapult Making Kit.'
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry & Mick Compliment Each Other on Their Hairstyles

By pepsoid on Fri, 23 Sep 2005

'That's a mighty fine haircut you've got there, Larry.'
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry & Mick Discover a New Planet

By pepsoid on Thu, 15 Sep 2005

'What's that?' 'A new planet.' 'Are you sure?'
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry & Mick Discover New Taxonomic Categories in Order to Pass the Time Between Cups of Tea

By pepsoid on Tue, 13 Sep 2005

'When did we last have a cup of tea?' said Larry. 'It must be at least twenty-three minutes ago,' said Mick. 'Perhaps even twenty-four,' said Larry. 'That is a distinct likelihood,' said Mick. 'Shall we search for new taxonomic categories?' suggested Larry. 'You mean to pass the time until our next cup of tea?' clarified Mick. 'Indeed so,' said Larry. 'What an excellent idea!' said Mick. 'Okay you start¦'
Humour
Story
Certificate U
Cherry

Larry & Mick Enter Bulgarian Airspace

By pepsoid on Mon, 10 Oct 2005

'Hey Larry, guess what!' 'What?' 'I've just found that rocket we built all those years ago!' '"We?' 'I helped with the colour scheme.' 'Hmm.' 'Well anyway, curious thing... I was just in Dr. Cherrybalti's earlier, getting my toenails clipped...' 'Dr. Cherrybalti, the veterinary surgeon?' 'Yes.' 'Carry on.'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry & Mick Find Inner Peace

By pepsoid on Mon, 02 Jan 2006

ditto re '...Nightclubbing...' & '...Poetry to Cats...'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry & Mick Get Caught Stalking Tony Robinson

By pepsoid on Tue, 27 Sep 2005

Larry & Mick were amateur archaeologists. This will be news to some, but not to others. It will be news to those who have not read previous Larry & Mick stories pertaining to the fact. If you are one of these people, then shame on you! Either way... Larry & Mick liked to watch Time Team . But not for its archaeological content. 'Pah!' they would say. 'How can you dig up a 3000 year old fencepost and claim it represents a cornerstone of civilization?' 'Nice pun there, friend Larry.' 'Thank you, friend Mick.' So no, they did not watch Time Team for its archaeological content.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry & Mick Go On an Archaeological Rampage - pt1: 'Doorstep'

By pepsoid on Tue, 13 Sep 2005

'Ready?' said Larry. 'Ready!' said Mick. 'Let's go!' And with a Yee-Haa! and a Whoop-Di-Doo! , they hopped on their scooters and headed for the first area of archaeological interest, as indicated on the map they had drawn, entitled 'Areas of Archaeological Interest.' Larry was Indiana Jones. Mick was Lara Croft. Larry was looking forward to using his whip on all who stood between him and the Lost Treasures of the Ancient World. Mick was looking forward to getting off the scooter, as its seat was causing his thighs to chaff a bit.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry & Mick Knit Bobble Hats for Camels

By pepsoid on Thu, 15 Sep 2005

'For camels?' said Mick. 'Yes, camels,' said Larry. 'But we don't get camels in Worcestershire,' said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry & Mick Make a Profound Discovery

By pepsoid on Tue, 06 Sep 2005

'See here!' said Larry, as he held his archaeological brush aloft. 'What?' said Mick. 'What do you see?' 'A brush.' 'No, not the brush. Here' - he indicated an upturned rock. 'An upturned rock.' 'But what do you see beneath the rock?' 'Nothing.' 'What do you mean, "nothing?' 'The rock is in the way.'
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry & Mick Meet Lairy & Mark and Get Terribly Confused

By pepsoid on Wed, 05 Oct 2005

'This is confusing,' said Larry. 'It certainly is,' said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Larry and Mick Adjust Their Ties

By pepsoid on Thu, 13 Oct 2005

I know what you're thinking... How can you have an entire story based on two men adjusting their ties? Well read on, Doubting Thomasses!
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Larry and Mick and the Anachronistic Locomotive

By pepsoid on Sat, 15 Nov 2014

"That can't be right," said Larry. "What?" said Mick. "The 17:01 gets in first, followed by the 16:53." "Maybe it travels back in time." "I've never...
Humour
Story
Certificate U
1 likes
Cherry

Larry and Mick and the Big Thing

By pepsoid on Tue, 19 Feb 2013

"What is it?" said Larry. "I dunno," said Mick, "but it's Big." "Metaphorically Big or literally Big?" "Take a look for yourself..."
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Larry and Mick and the Consequences of Having a Rubber Thing Fall off One's End

By pepsoid on Mon, 23 Feb 2009

'The rubber's fallen off my end,' said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick and the Cuppa-Contraption

By pepsoid on Sat, 28 Jan 2006

I thought I would share with y'all my entry for the 'PG Tips Invent a Cuppa-Contraption' competition. The Larry and Mick fans amongst you may notice that (a) it shares an uncanny similarity with another L&M story; and (b) Mick's surname has changed from Mastadon to Merrington (I thought it more PG Tips-friendly)... But they don't know that!!
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick and the Disregarded Safety Announcement

By pepsoid on Thu, 19 Dec 2013

1. "We are now approaching Kidderminster. Please mind the gap between the platform and the train." "Pardon?" said Mick. "It wasn't me," said Larry; "...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
1 likes

Larry and Mick and the Disregarded Safety Announcement TAKE TWO

By pepsoid on Thu, 19 Dec 2013

"Do you mind the gap?" said Larry. "No, I don't mind the gap," said Mick. And that was that. [ fin ]
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick and the End Times

By pepsoid on Sun, 16 Dec 2012

"The Apocalypse is upon us..." said Larry, as ash rained from the sky.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick and the Fluffy Cat Face-Off

By pepsoid on Tue, 19 Mar 2013

Fluffy Cat 1 stared at Fluffy Cat 2. Fluffy Cat 1 was on one side of the road, Fluffy Cat 2 was on the other side. They stared, not face on, but in a cool, casual, sidelong way.
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick and the Palace of Pain

By pepsoid on Sat, 16 Mar 2013

"Ow!" said Larry, as he tripped over a paving slab just outside the main gate.
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick and the Punctuative Interlude

By pepsoid on Thu, 05 Dec 2013

"Commas are the stuff of legend!" said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick and the Punctuative Interlude TAKE TWO

By pepsoid on Thu, 05 Dec 2013

"..."
Humour
Story
Certificate U
1 likes

Larry and Mick and the Quantum Hoover of HEPA

By pepsoid on Thu, 20 Nov 2014

... Inspired by an episode of 'Wizards of Waverly Place' and a conversation with the artist Dan Ashton-Booth about the prospect of a DIY 'Star Wars'...
Science fiction
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
1 likes

Larry and Mick and the Quantum Hoover of HEPA - TAKE TWO

By pepsoid on Thu, 20 Nov 2014

"Gaaagh!" said Larry. "It's sucking up everything in its path!" "But wait!" said Mick. "Who's that hooded chap that's just materialised before us?" "...
Science fiction
Humour
Story
Certificate U
1 likes
Cherry

Larry and Mick and the Sneeze of Time

By pepsoid on Fri, 08 Feb 2013

"Ahh-" said Larry. "-gadoo?" said Mick. "Ahh-" said Larry. "-bracadabra?" offered Mick. "Ahh-" said Larry. "-berystwyth?" posited Mick. "-choo!" said Larry. "Oh," said Mick.
Unclassified
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick and the Tempting of the Fate

By pepsoid on Thu, 16 Jan 2014

"The house won't clean itself," said Larry to Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick and the Tempting of the Fete

By pepsoid on Thu, 16 Jan 2014

"Don't tempt fete!" said Larry to Mick.
Story
Certificate U
Cherry

Larry and Mick are Abducted by Aliens

By pepsoid on Mon, 22 Aug 2005

'Larry?' said Larry. 'I'm Mick,' said Mick. 'You're Larry.' 'Sorry, I mean... Mick?' said Larry. 'But why would you confused me with you?' said Mick. 'It doesn't make sense.' 'Yes it does,' said Larry. 'No it doesn't,' said Mick. 'It's an easy mistake to make,' said Larry. 'No it isn't,' said Mick. 'Yes it is,' said Larry. 'Unless...' said Mick. 'Unless what?' said Larry. 'Unless you aren't who you say you are,' said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Larry and Mick at the Supermarket

By pepsoid on Sun, 16 Dec 2012

"I am the Empress of Pain," said the lady behind the checkout at Morrison's. Larry handed her a bag of peas. "£1.69," said the Empress of Pain. "Scandalous!" said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Avoid a Potato-Related Incident

By pepsoid on Mon, 17 Feb 2014

"Don't ever put your eggs in a plastic bag... and swing it round your head!" said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Become Addicted to Carpets

By pepsoid on Sun, 04 Sep 2005

'Have you grown?' said Larry to Mick. 'Why do you ask?' said Mick to Larry. 'Your head seems closer to the ceiling,' said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Become Architectural Archaeologists in Antarctica

By pepsoid on Tue, 19 Feb 2013

"Keep digging!" said Larry. "Keep your hair on," said Mick. They dug beneath the snow and revealed an interesting structural formation. "What is it?" said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Become Dark Knights and Save Gotham City From a Reign of Terror

By pepsoid on Sat, 16 Feb 2013

"Dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner, dinner-dinner-dinner-dinner-" said Larry. "Batman?" said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Become Newsreaders for the Day

By pepsoid on Mon, 07 Aug 2006

'This way to the studio,' said the Best Boy or Grip or Gaffer or whatever-he-was. ' 'Ang on, I just need to adjust my hat,' said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick Build an Ark in Preparation for the Impending Global Deluge

By pepsoid on Thu, 10 Aug 2006

'Where did you get this information from, Mick?' ' www.impendingglobaldeluge.com ' 'And where did they get their information from?' 'Some students, I think.' 'Oh well, it must be true, then. Pass me that 2-be-1.' Mick did so, and Larry nailed it to a 6-be-3.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Buy a Plank (of Wood)

By pepsoid on Fri, 03 Mar 2006

'That's a very fine plank of wood, friend Larry.'
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Buy a Racing Pigeon

By pepsoid on Wed, 17 Aug 2005

It was the last thing they expected to find in a stationer's. They had only gone in for a pencil sharpener, a small bag of elastic bands and a paper shredder, and they had come out with a racing pigeon. 'We've forgotten the pencil sharpener, the small bag of elastic bands and the paper shredder,' said Mick. 'Damn!' said Larry. 'But then we do have a racing pigeon,' said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick Buy Too Many Onions

By pepsoid on Fri, 19 Aug 2005

'How many onions?' said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Decide to Become High Class Hookers But Get the Wrong End of the Stick...

By pepsoid on Thu, 02 Mar 2006

'For once in your life,' said Larry to the small goblin-like creature who stood on his doorstep, 'bugger off and do something useful.' The small goblin-like creature shuffled off, muttering something incoherent and probably unpleasant. Larry then closed the door, tutted, turned back into the room and said, 'Honestly, what is the world coming to?'
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick Decide to Become Olympic Athletes, But Fall at the First Hurdle

By pepsoid on Tue, 30 Aug 2005

'Let's become Olympic athletes!' said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Decide to Defect...

By pepsoid on Tue, 15 Aug 2006

'I'm bored,' said Larry, as he sat before a large, free-standing mirror on the dining room table, plucking out the hairs between his eyebrows with a pair of tweezers he had found behind his right ear, when he had been searching for a pencil he was sure he had left there, only to realise that it no longer existed, due to the fact that he had sharpened it away to nothing, along with two-hundred-and-thirty-six other pencils, at the National Pencil Sharpening Tournament held at the N.E.C. in Birmingham last Wednesday, at which he had won third prize of a nice, shiny badge and a year's supply of pencils, which, in a pique of altruism, he had donated to the charity, Catteries in Need of Pencils, only to later regret it when he realised he had nothing to write with. 'Shall we defect?'
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Decide to Have a Race Across the Desert Wearing Only Ballet Pumps With a Blue Satin Inlay...

By pepsoid on Mon, 15 Aug 2005

'I've got an idea!' said Larry. 'Hang on, let me just finish this level of Devil May Cry 3: Danté's Awakening,' said Mick. 'Is that the stylish-but-violent gothic horror PS2 game which I got you for your birthday, involving a young half-human/half-demon fighting legions of the undead in a desperate bid to come to terms with his destiny?' 'No, that's Pac-Man,' said Mick. 'Damn, I always get those two mixed up.'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Decide to Join the French Foreign Legion, But Lose Their Way And End Up In Brighton

By pepsoid on Mon, 15 Aug 2005

'I'm bored,' said Larry. 'Let's give it all up and go and join the French Foreign Legion.' 'Righty-ho,' said Mick. 'Which way is it to France?' 'That-a-way!' And off they went.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Declare Their Allegiance to the Cult of the Purple Tambourine in Front of a Live TV Audience

By pepsoid on Fri, 10 Feb 2006

They sat, on the only two chairs on the stage, squinting at the bright studio lights, wondering what, in the name of Jumping Jemima's Jamboree, they were doing there.
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Larry and Mick Discover Parkour

By pepsoid on Sun, 17 Feb 2013

"Over that wall!" said Larry. "Under that rail!" said Mick. "Dash over there!" said Larry. "Shimmy up that drainpipe!" said Mick. "Across the rooftop!" said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Discover the Delights of Sainsburys 3-Bean Soup

By pepsoid on Sun, 14 Aug 2005

Soup comes in many forms, but you can't beat those of a thick and chunky texture...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Discover the In-ter-net

By pepsoid on Fri, 31 Jan 2014

LARRY: So what is this 'In-ter-net' then? MICK: Well apparently, friend Larry, you can use a 'Search Engine' to find information about anything you...
Humour
Other
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Discuss the Relative Health and Safety Merits of Post-Its and Pins

By pepsoid on Mon, 03 Sep 2007

‘I feel,’ said Mick, ‘that it is high time we organised our lives.’
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick do a Spot of Gardening

By pepsoid on Sat, 24 Dec 2005

'I recently went through a phase of being bored of weeing; then I thought, "it's gotta be done, so why not enjoy it?' 'Pass me the spade, Mick.' 'Which made me think about bodily functions in general. I mean, we spend half our lives performing them-' 'Trowel.' 'And that's another thing, by the way... why do we "perform bodily functions? I mean, is it an act of theatre? Do we imagine we are on stage while we're emptying our-' 'Free packet of seeds we got with The Daily Mail.'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick do Yoga to Nine Inch Nails

By pepsoid on Tue, 15 Aug 2006

'And... bre-e-eath...' said Mick, as Trent Reznor went on about God and Hate and nothing-can-stop-me-now and such gubbins. Larry breathed, twisted round his leg and stuck his foot behind his head, but he was less than convinced about the context of his Cosmic Awakening.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Donate all Their Furniture to Charity

By pepsoid on Sun, 04 Sep 2005

It may have occurred to the casual reader of the Tales of Larry & Mick that there is some lack of clarity over the living arrangements of the protagonists. Do they each own their own 'space' (to be very 2005), but spend most of their time at each other's abodes? Or do they share in the ownership of a flat or a house, in an entirely non-sexual, platonic kind of a way? (Larry & Mick are not gay. Or are they...? This is one of the questions which will be vociferously debated amongst students of Larry & Mick for many years to come - as well as the lack of clarity regarding their living arrangements...)
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Eat Some Cheese

By pepsoid on Tue, 08 Aug 2006

'Edam or Red Leicester?' said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Embark on a Journey Into the Unknown

By pepsoid on Thu, 21 Feb 2013

"Where are we going?" said Larry. "Dunno," said Mick. [ fin ]
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Engage in a Bout of Public Silliness

By pepsoid on Sun, 07 Jan 2007

Larry watched, as Mick picked up a leaf, put it on his head and sang the U2 song, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For . 'Hmm,' said Larry. 'What?' said Mick. 'Well...' said Larry. 'Out with it,' said Mick. Larry pursed his lips. Mick raised an eyebrow. 'It's just not that silly,' said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Engage in a Philosophical Debate With a Group of Ring-Tailed Lemurs at the Side of the Road

By pepsoid on Mon, 05 Dec 2005

'We're all going on a,' said Larry. 'Summer holiday,' said Mick. 'No more working for a,' said Larry. 'Week or - stop! ' Larry and Mick screeched to a halt. That is to say, their mopeds screeched to a halt. 'What?' said Larry. 'There's those ring-tailed lemurs I was talking about,' said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Enter a Elastic Band Flicking Competition

By pepsoid on Fri, 19 Aug 2005

The tension was palpable. The contestants stood waiting in line to be called up to the rostrum. Elastic bands were stretched. Prayers were whispered. Dedications to Pagan deities were recited. 'Fancy a yoghurt-coated raisin?' said Larry. 'Don't mind if I do,' said Mick. Larry and Mick munched on yoghurt-coated raisins. 'What is this place we've entered?' said Larry. 'Let me just get the flyer,' said Mick. Larry had another yoghurt-coated raisin. 'Don't eat all those yoghurt-coated raisins,' said Mick. 'Sorry,' said Larry, as he offered Mick another.
Humour
Story
Certificate U
Cherry

Larry and Mick Enter a Jumping Competition

By pepsoid on Fri, 19 Aug 2005

'What are you doing?' said Larry. 'Practising for the Jumping Competition,' said Mick. 'By raising and lowering your eyebrows?' 'You can't run before you can walk.' 'Fair enough.'
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick Escape From a High Security State Correctional Facility

By pepsoid on Sun, 14 Aug 2005

They didn't know what they had done. But they had somehow ended up in a high security state correctional facility. Somewhere in America. 'This is most unfortunate,' said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick Experiment With Transexualism

By pepsoid on Tue, 30 Aug 2005

'Phase One,' said Mick, reading from a pamphlet he had picked up from the Post Office; 'realise you are a woman in a man's body.' 'Okay,' said Larry, 'erm,' he continued, 'how do I do that then?' 'Doesn't say,' said Mick. 'I imagine it's a state-of-mind kind of jobbie.' 'Like realising you were born to be a gerbil?' 'Yes, that kind of thing.'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Find Themselves in a Town Overrun by Hordes of Slavering Zombies

By pepsoid on Sun, 31 Dec 2006

'Where's Milla Jovovich when you need her?' said Larry. 'Pardon?' said Mick. 'Never mind,' said Larry. 'Pass me that shotgun.' Mick did so, and Larry subtly nudged a nearby zombie over that fine line between with-a-head and without-a-head .
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Larry and Mick Get Caught Up in a Food Fight Between Pigeons

By pepsoid on Sun, 04 Sep 2005

'Gas pipes and gaffer tape!' said Mick. 'What?' said Larry. 'Those pigeons are having a food fight!'
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Get Waxed

By pepsoid on Sun, 06 Aug 2006

Larry passed Mick a chicken drumstick, which Mick took, got out his penknife, sliced off a slice, dipped it in the gluepot and stuck it onto the canvas before him. He then stood back and twizzled the small, pointy goatee beard he had been cultivating. 'It's good,' said Larry, over the sound of the welding torch, which he was taking to the large block of cheese; 'but it needs more chicken.'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick go all Gangsta, Innit

By pepsoid on Sun, 21 Jul 2013

"Fo'shizzle," said Larry. "What does that mean?" said Mick. Larry shrugged. [ fin ]
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Go Nightclubbing

By pepsoid on Mon, 02 Jan 2006

'That's not a good look,' said Larry. 'I've got a bit of pea-skin between my teeth,' said Mick. 'It won't attract the ladies.' 'Hence my intended removal of such prior to departure.'
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick Go Organic

By pepsoid on Fri, 16 Dec 2005

'Was that you, Mick?' 'I'm afraid it was the sprouts, Larry.' 'Is the organic food not suiting you, Mick?' 'In a sense it suits me greatly, Mick. The taste is exquisite and my relationship with Mother Earth has become one of increased mutual beneficence. There are, however, undeniable unpleasant biological consequences.'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Go Skiing

By pepsoid on Thu, 11 Aug 2005

Larry didn't like the heat. Mick didn't like the cold.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick go to Drama Class

By pepsoid on Mon, 07 Aug 2006

'I am,' said Mick, 'a tree.' 'No you're not,' said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Have a 'Night Out'

By pepsoid on Sun, 04 Aug 2013

"There's a Psychic Night tonight at the pub," said Larry. "How do you know?" said Mick. Larry went cross-eyed. "Oh," said Mick. "I see."
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Have a 'Sticky Bun Moment'

By pepsoid on Mon, 07 Aug 2006

'Look out...!'
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Have a Day at a Health Farm

By pepsoid on Fri, 23 Dec 2005

'Back, sack and crack?'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Have a Mid-Life Crisis

By pepsoid on Wed, 11 Jan 2006

Larry and Mick were in their early thirties. One day, Larry turned to Mick and said: 'Shall we have a mid-life crisis?' 'Why the Shrek not?' said Mick. And so they did.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Have a Run-in With the Sponge Police

By pepsoid on Mon, 06 Mar 2006

'Quick!' said Larry. 'Hide the sponge!' 'Why?' said Mick. 'It's the Sponge Police!' said Larry. 'Madeley and Finnegan!' said Mick, as he shoved the sponge under the cushion on the sofa, whilst Larry answered the door.
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Larry and Mick Have a Visit From Ned, Mick's Long Lost Cousin From the Hills

By pepsoid on Sat, 23 Sep 2006

The biggest Larry and Mick yet!
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Larry and Mick Have Tea With Gloria Estefan

By pepsoid on Tue, 08 Aug 2006

'Who is it we're having tea with, again?' said Mick. 'Gloria Estefan,' said Larry. 'You mean the Cuban eighties pop sensation?' said Mick. 'If you like,' said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
Cherry

Larry and Mick Justify Their Existence to a Hospital Porter, Whilst Queuing for Tickets to the Novelty Pen-Top Exhibition

By pepsoid on Tue, 08 Aug 2006

'I'm looking forward to the superhero stall,' said Larry. 'It's the Psychological Abnormalities one that I'll be making a beeline for,' said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Lose Three Years of Their Lives to Playstation

By pepsoid on Tue, 30 Aug 2005

'How old are you, friend Mick?' 'Thirty-three, friend Larry.'
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Moan About Stuff

By pepsoid on Tue, 08 Aug 2006

'And another thing,' said Mick; 'that new pasty shop claims it's a genuine Cornish pasty shop, and yet I've never heard anyone say "Bugger! or "There was hellup! or "Alright, my lover?' 'Or "Here, have some free fudge!' said Larry. 'Exactly!' said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Paint Pebbles and Sell Them to Tourists

By pepsoid on Mon, 22 Aug 2005

'What do you think of that?' said Mick. 'It's rubbish,' said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U
Cherry

Larry and Mick Re-Discover the Pickled Egg

By pepsoid on Tue, 06 Sep 2005

'Are those eyeballs in the jar?' 'No, pickled eggs.' 'Shame. I do so like an eyeball with my battered jumbo sausage and chips.' 'Have a pickled egg,' suggested Mick. 'Begging you pardon?' said Larry. 'Live a little! Walk on the wild side! Push those boundaries to the limit! Have a-' 'Are you egging me on?'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Reassess the Situation

By pepsoid on Thu, 23 Feb 2006

'What are you doing there, friend Mick?' 'It is a spider diagram, friend Larry.' 'And what is the purpose of the spider diagram, friend Mick?' 'I feel it is time we reassessed the situation.'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Recite Poetry to Cats

By pepsoid on Mon, 02 Jan 2006

Ditto re '...Nightclubbing...'
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick Save Their Saliva for a Rainy Day

By pepsoid on Fri, 08 Jun 2007

Has it really been that many months since I wrote a Larry and Mick? The shame! Ahh well, here it is - it's only a quickie, but they can be just as satisfying (apparently)... ;)
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Share an Apple

By pepsoid on Thu, 11 Aug 2005

'Where is the fruit to which you refer?' 'There, on the table.'
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Start a Boy Band

By pepsoid on Mon, 06 Mar 2006

'A boy band?' said Larry. 'Why the heck not?' said Mick. 'We have no talent.'
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Stumble Upon Mega City Justice

By pepsoid on Mon, 18 Mar 2013

"That was a long sleep," said Larry. "Indeed," said Mick. Larry opened the curtains. "Oh crikey!" "What?" "A futuristic city appears to have been built around our flat!"
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Wander Unwittingly Onto an Online Forum

By pepsoid on Mon, 14 Aug 2006

'Larry?' 'Yes, Mick?' 'We seem to have wandered unwittingly onto an online forum.' 'Jangling Jehosephat's Jockstrap, Mick, you're right!'
Humour
Story
Certificate 15

Larry Bathes in the Light of Mick's Magnificence

By pepsoid on Tue, 19 Mar 2013

"What's this bubble bath called?" said Larry. "'The Light of Mick's Magnificence'," said Mick. "What a startling coincidence!" "Indeed." [ fin ]
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry Exclaims

By pepsoid on Sat, 19 Jul 2014

"Oh furnanas!" said Larry. "Furry bananas?" said Mick. "No," said Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

lry+mk g txtng

By pepsoid on Sun, 07 Jan 2007

lry+mk bt mbl fns.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Medical References (a Larry and Mick Tale)

By pepsoid on Sat, 22 Jun 2013

"I can't stand people who haven't got all their toes," said Larry. "I'm Lack-toes Intolerant."
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Mick Isn't Satisfied

By pepsoid on Tue, 19 Mar 2013

"I love these chocolate biscuits!" said Larry. "They could do with chocolate chunks," said Mick. "I've done the hoovering." "You missed a bit." "I'm looking forward to Christmas!"
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Pause

By pepsoid on Thu, 19 Dec 2013

"Hello dog!" said Larry at the incoming Labradoodle, whilst smiling and projecting nervous psychic waves in the direction of said canine, intended to...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Pertinent Pronouncement of Prose

By pepsoid on Thu, 27 Feb 2014

"Here I am..."
Humour
Story
Certificate U

The Aliens are Here!

By pepsoid on Mon, 17 Mar 2014

"The aliens are here!" said Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate U

The Fast and the Curious

By pepsoid on Wed, 12 Feb 2014

beep beep
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

The Field

By pepsoid on Sat, 20 Jul 2013

1. "What a lovely field!" said Larry. "Indeed it is!" said Mick. "Have you got the thing?" said Larry. "What thing?" said Mick. "The thing," clarified Larry.
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

The Glitch

By pepsoid on Tue, 10 Dec 2013

"Ooh cat!"
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Topiary

By pepsoid on Thu, 13 Feb 2014

"Your bush needs trimming," said Larry to Mick.
Humour
Story
Certificate 12
Cherry

Larry and Mick and the Niftily Deflected Insult

By pepsoid on Fri, 12 May 2017

“You smell,” said Larry. “Hey, watch it!” said Mick. “Sorry,” said Larry.
Surreal
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick and the Nidiot

By pepsoid on Sat, 13 May 2017

"You're an idiot," said Larry. "I'm not a Nidiot," said Mick.
Science fiction
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
Gold cherry

Cthuddlywinks

By pepsoid on Thu, 22 Feb 2018

1. Deep within the bowels of the Earth, something stirred. Something ancient. Something smelly. Something that, until that very moment, had not even...
Surreal
Horror
Humour
Story
Certificate 12
Cherry

Trees

By pepsoid on Tue, 06 Mar 2018

“How do trees work?” said Larry to Mick. “They don’t work,” said Mick to Larry. “Lazy blighters.” Larry looked at Mick. It was then that a tree,...
Surreal
Fantasy
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Paper

By pepsoid on Sun, 11 Mar 2018

Larry had a piece of paper on his head. “Why,” said Mick, “do you have a piece of paper perched atop yon bonce?” “‘‘Tis International Put a Piece of...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Got a Long List of Ex-Lovers

By pepsoid on Fri, 23 Mar 2018

“Taylor Swift!” said Larry. “Where?” said Mick. “Nowhere,” said Larry; “I was just trying out a new exclamation.” “Oh,” said Mick. < fin >
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
Cherry

Ears

By pepsoid on Sat, 24 Mar 2018

Pt1 “Have you ever cheered so hard, your ear fell off?” said Larry. Mick’s team scored. Mick cheered. Larry looked at Mick. “Nope,” said Mick. Pt2 “...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Hope for a Cherry on ABC Tales

By pepsoid on Sat, 24 Mar 2018

“Do you think this will get one?” said Larry. “Probably not,” said Mick. < fin >
Humour
Story
Certificate U
Cherry

Larry and Mick and the Thing that Happened

By pepsoid on Fri, 30 Mar 2018

In real life, things happen without knowing why they happen. And they are unresolved. There is no beginning, middle and end; it’s all just middle...
Philosophy
Humour
Story
Certificate U
Cherry

Larry and Mick go to Puddletown ... PART ONE

By pepsoid on Wed, 09 May 2018

One day, during Larry and Mick’s annual fishing trip to Dorset, they decided to go to Puddletown. Puddletown is a real place, but the Puddletown...
Humour
Story
Certificate 12
Cherry

Larry and Mick go to Puddletown ... PART TWO

By pepsoid on Wed, 09 May 2018

Puddletown was a veritable gravity well of celebrities. Such a quaint English name. And what celebrity doesn’t love all things quaint and English? So...
Humour
Story
Certificate 12
Cherry

Larry and Mick go to Puddletown ... PART THREE

By pepsoid on Wed, 09 May 2018

Amidst a veritable symphony of oral windypops, there was a swoosh, a roar, a scrape, a thud, a crunch and a great leathery flapping as of great...
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick at the Last Chance Saloon

By pepsoid on Thu, 17 May 2018

A little homage to one of the best things on TV at the moment...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
1 likes

Larry and Mick and the Alien

By pepsoid on Wed, 23 May 2018

“I’m an alien,” said the alien. “No you’re not,” said Larry. “You’ve just got green skin,” said Mick. “But I’m an alien!” said the alien. “Then prove...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
1 likes

Larry and Mick Give it Some Oomph

By pepsoid on Fri, 29 Jun 2018

“I can’t turn the tap off,” said Larry. “Give it some oomph,” said Mick. ... “I can’t get the lid off this jar,” said Larry. “Give it some oomph,”...
Humour
Story
Certificate U
Cherry

Pah

By pepsoid on Wed, 04 Jul 2018

They sat on a cushion. The cushion was small and round and a pale orange hue. It was perched on top of a mountain, which was surrounded by a plane of...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
Cherry

Larry and Mick and the Aardvarks

By pepsoid on Tue, 23 Oct 2018

“Get you’re coat, you’ve pulled,” said Larry. “Say what?,” said Mick. “You’ve pulled a thread on your cardigan, so you should not wear said vestment...
Humour
Story
Certificate 12
Cherry

The Holy Sock Trilogy

By pepsoid on Fri, 16 Nov 2018

PART 1 “Darn it!,” said Larry. “What?,” said Mick. “This sock which has a hole in it.” “Okay.” Mick darned the Holy Sock. PART 2 “All hail the Holy...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

LXM

By pepsoid on Thu, 17 Jan 2019

Larry regarded Mick. Which is something he had never really done before. He had looked at him, stared at him, glanced at him, but never regarded him...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick and the Conscious Artificial Entity

By pepsoid on Mon, 11 Feb 2019

“Hello. I am Jeff.” “O,” said Larry. “K,” said Mick. “And what,” said Larry. “Are you doing here?,” said Mick. “Hello. I am Jeff.” Larry indicated he...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry in Love

By pepsoid on Wed, 20 Mar 2019

“I’m in love,” said Larry. “No you’re not,” said Mick. “What do you mean?,” said Larry. “It’s just your brain chemistry misfiring,” said Mick. Larry...
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Sally Go on a Date

By pepsoid on Fri, 22 Mar 2019

[ Being a sequel to ‘ Larry in Love ’... ] “We could show these young ‘uns a thing or two!,” said Sally the Librarian, over the thump-thump-thump of...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Partake of a Post-Date Analysis

By pepsoid on Fri, 22 Mar 2019

[ Being a sequel to ‘ Larry and Sally Go on a Date ’... ] “How did things go with Sally, Larry?” “I think she thinks I’m weird, Mick.” “Why would you...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Things

By pepsoid on Fri, 29 Mar 2019

“Things are happening,” said Larry. “And nobody can stop them,” said Larry. “Except...” said Larry. “The Stopping Man,” said Larry. “Seriously?,”...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

The Sprunging of Spring

By pepsoid on Fri, 29 Mar 2019

“It’s getting’ more nicer, ain’t it?,” said Larry. “Who taught you how to speak?,” said Mick. “Your mom,” said Larry. “You’re not Larry,” said Mick...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Hole

By pepsoid on Fri, 29 Mar 2019

“Well they’re digging a big hole by the station,” said Larry. “Are they going to fill it in again?,” said Mick. “‘Spect so,” said Larry. “Gotta...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Not Roadkill

By pepsoid on Sun, 31 Mar 2019

“Watch out for that roadkill!,” said Larry. “It’s not roadkill, it’s a car mat,” said Mick. “Watch out for that car mat!” “Poor car mat...” “Why?” “...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Misapprehension

By pepsoid on Sun, 31 Mar 2019

“I know what you’re thinking,” said Larry. “No you don’t,” said Mick. [ fin ]
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Journey Confusion

By pepsoid on Sun, 31 Mar 2019

“Whoah! We’re going to Ibiza!,” sang Larry. “I thought we were just going to the post office,” said Mick. [ fin ]
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick and the Sniffleapocalypse

By pepsoid on Fri, 05 Apr 2019

The end didn’t come in fire or nuclear fallout or holy wrath. It came in sniffles, coughs and ‘feeling a bit squiffy.’ But enough of that... “I’m...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG

Larry and Mick Dabble (a bit) in Necromancy

By pepsoid on Tue, 16 Apr 2019

“Oops,” said Larry, as he slipped on a half-eaten doughnut, fell off the cliff and dashed his brains on the rocks below. “Oh dear,” said Mick, who...
Humour
Story
Certificate 12
Cherry

Larry and Mick at Procrastination

By pepsoid on Sat, 18 May 2019

“Welcome to Procrastination!,” said the chap with a clipboard, standing outside the airport. “Thanks,” said Larry. “Can you tell me how to get to the...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
Cherry

Larry and Mick Explore Gender Fluidity

By pepsoid on Fri, 08 Nov 2019

“What are you thinking, Larry?,” said Mick. “I’m thinking...” said Larry. “What?,” said Mick. “I want to be a woman,” said Larry. Mick looked at...
Humour
Story
Certificate 12
1 likes
Cherry

Larry and Mick and the Purple Pandemic

By pepsoid on Sat, 21 Mar 2020

"People are still getting haircuts and using tanning booths!," said Larry, as he burst through the front door. "Don't they know there's an apocalypse...
Humour
Story
Certificate 12
1 likes

Larry and Mick Play Hopscotch With Gerbils

By pepsoid on Sat, 20 Feb 2021

Larry pointed. Mick followed the direction of Larry's pointing. Larry said, "Look at that hopscotch... um..." "Field?" "Pitch?" "Court?" "Designated...
Humour
Story
Certificate U
Cherry

Larry and Mick Contemplate the Deeper Meaning(s) of Existence

By pepsoid on Wed, 03 Mar 2021

"It was once considered to be 42," said Larry. "And now?," said Mick. "I know not," said Larry. "I feel that we must go deeper." Upon which, Larry...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Decide to Go Bowling and Accidentally End Up Travelling to Another Dimension

By pepsoid on Sun, 14 Mar 2021

"Crown green or ten pin?," said Larry. "Wii?," said Mick. "Okay, but when you've had a wee, crown green or ten pin?" The Universe audibly expanded by...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
1 likes

Larry and Mick Get Into a Bit of a Pickle

By pepsoid on Sat, 10 Apr 2021

"Nice pickle," said Larry. "Yes," said Mick. "I just wish there was more." "But you know what they say," said Larry, as he placed his hand on Mick's...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Get Lost in Peppa Pig World

By pepsoid on Sat, 10 Apr 2021

"How long has it been?," said Mick. "Too long," said Larry. "But seriously, how long?," said Mick. Larry consulted his wrist. "3 years, 42 days, 5...
Humour
Story
Certificate 12

Larry and Mick Wonder Who Left the Tap On

By pepsoid on Sat, 10 Apr 2021

"Was it you?," said Larry. "Nope," said Mick. "Was it you?" "Nope," said Larry. "Maybe it was the cat." "Don't be ridiculous," said Mick. But they...
Humour
Story
Certificate U

Larry and Mick Spin Around Very Fast and Then Regret It

By pepsoid on Sun, 02 May 2021

"I'm bored." "Tiddlywinks?" "Bored of it." "Are you mad?" "Just bored of tiddlywinks." "I need tea." "Coffee for me, thanks." "You are mad." "Just...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG
Cherry

Larry and Mick Create a Black Hole and Nearly Destroy the Universe

By pepsoid on Sun, 02 May 2021

"Oops." "What?" "I've just accidentally created a black hole with this Home Physics Kit." "Oh dear." "It's growing exponentially." "You better stop...
Humour
Story
Certificate PG