Let's start again

not easy to write with this prompt in the way, it always seems to suggest a failed romance...

I'd think of cutting it into stanza's personally because it might just make it easier to read and focus on when editing...

Hi Maisie
does it work better this way? Thanks for your comment

;)Pia

A poem, straight from the heart, it would seem, Pia, and a more than worthy entry for the competition;-)

Tina

Thank you for telling me so Tina- really appreciate it

have a lovely weekend
;)Pia

I really like this, Pia

'Give me fifty years again
and I’ll trip up
in all the same places.
Another time I will
follow through with grace.'

- I love these lines, Pia!

Really enjoyed this and good luck with it in the comp :)

Rachel xx

I really hope you do well in the competition with
this entry Pia. I'm sure you worked really hard on
it. You show a lot of feelings in this piece.

Jenny.

Yes it does it for me, have you considered swopping 'agony' for simple 'pain' - it makes it rhyme (old hat) yet it also makes it go better when read aloud.

its yours you know.. you must always do it your way!

Thank you very much Coral, Rachel, Jenny and Maisie- so kind of you to leave a comment

;)Pia

This is very good Pia - one from the heart. Good luck.

Thank you very much OTT
;)Pia

The lines that Rachel picked out are also my favourites, really good Pia you have made this work so well. :-)

Thank you very much Fatboy- glad you had the time to read and comment- appreciate it.

;)Pia

At once regretful and triumphant. To struggle is human, to learn from struggling a good start. A fitting testament to warts 'n' all, I wholeheartedly approve!

I am going to disagree here though, the lines that pull it all together for me are:

'My struggle will stand sentinel
to my need for this.'

I'm not sure I get what you mean about "fitting testament to warts 'n' all "- is there something lacking in my knowledge of the english language?

;)Pia

I'd put a comma after 'game' and then all will be perfect, thus:
'Another time, I will
follow through with grace.'
Apparently, 'warts an' all' is what Cromwell said to his portrait artist when he was 'king' - so they say in Ely (special place - Cromwell's home town - that's where they, ironically, filmed 'Elizabeth, the Golden Age' or bits of) ... am I off-peessed? lol

Thanks Animan- for the explanation about Cromwell's warts- ha ha
Thank you very much for reading and coming with a welcome comment

;)Pia

Good knowledge Animan, I'll have to remember that.
Pia, sorry for being too abstract, I meant that I like the message here - that the lows are as important as the highs in life and we should embrace it. Life would be boring if it was perfect, anyway!

Thanks for getting back to me BBG and thank you for your comment. Glad you liked my poem.

;)Pia

Hej Highhat.

"...The hot sun burning and the cold winter snow.
Who would I be? I don’t know!..."

You would emerge unscathed as Highhat of course.

Passe (I think?)
ps
good luck with the comp

Hej ScoZen

thanks for the kind words
Pas på digselv
Take care
and Tak

;)Pia

Hi Pia,

I love the stanza:

"Where or who would I be
without the life I have led?
I have always dreamt it differently
but I wouldn’t change it for the world."

I guess we can all think of the mistakes we have made or what we could / should have done differently, but as you rightfully say, we would not then be who and where we are.

Good luck to you too.

kheldar :--)

Exactly Kheldar- you can regret a lot of doings but the main thing is that you are happy in the here and now. I agree.
thanks a lot for reading and commenting

;)Pia

Dearest Pia, your poem is full of optimism and gratefulness for a life lived to the full with pain and joy in equal measure and yet without regret for any setback. A good piece well expressed.

Luigi xx

Thank you very much Luigi- I'm glad you got the message.

;)Pia

"Where or who would I be
without the life I have led?
I have always dreamt it differently"

"Give me fifty years again
and I’ll trip up
in all the same places.
Another time I will
follow through with grace."

Always admired those who can pack deep stuff in a few lines and still make it easy to understand

"Even thrown under a bus
or hit by a train.
You can give
it to me again and again."

Made me smile cos reminds me of rhythm in Green Eggs and Ham by Dr Seuss -
I like them in a box, I like them with a fox

etc

Loads of ideas

It's great you are reading my stuff P2- I am honoured.

;)Pia

Thanks for the cherry Tony

Wow! another lot of cherries, well done Pia.

You nearly have a bowl full in one day.

Jenny.

Yeah it's really nice that these cherries are in season all year round !!!

;)Pia