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Today is now

Posted by Highhat on January 13, 2011 - 18:19

I wish I could laugh at it.
it is a bit too serious yet.
When I look at it
it is turmoil, chaos and neglect.
Neglect of myself,
always putting someone else in front.
It was always someone
and not something.
Although at times it turned
into something for someone.
It is so serious because there
is silence
and withdrawal
from scenes of cathartic self indulgence
to those of manic depression.
The past is what it is
and it still haunts me.
It wasn’t humane
for any of us;
the family, friends and
Children.
Least of all me.
An animal would have
managed better
than I,
lost, depraving myself, denying,
being denied
the love and care I really needed,
thus denying, subconsciously,
all close to
my forgotten love.
Repressed , unrecognisable
in co-dependency.
Not a kiss nor a hug for
the whole of my life.
My Mother’s wafer thin kisses
on the cheek and my Father’s
bear hugs
were almost sufficient.
Whatever was rummaging inside
was not enough to
keep me sane.
But now!
I can shrug my shoulders a bit
and say
“That was my past!”
Today is now and forever.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

insertponceyfre... | January 13, 2011 - 19:45

this is really good Pia - well done

Highhat | January 13, 2011 - 20:31

Thank you very much Insert- and thanks for the cherry.
Much appreciated as a fact. Was just about to write part 2- yes there is more. Ha ha gotta get it out ;D
;)Pia

SundaysChild | January 13, 2011 - 21:45

Good piece- I like the description of the 'wafer thin' kisses from the mother.

Highhat | January 13, 2011 - 22:18

Thank you SundaysChild. Much appreciated
;)Pia

fatboy74 | January 13, 2011 - 23:17

Congrats on cherry - agree with sundays child 'wafer thin kisses' is what poetry is all about for me, those two words say masses. Pretty powerful stuff. :-)

Highhat | January 13, 2011 - 23:27

Thanks FB glad you could make some meaning of it
;)Pia

seashore | January 14, 2011 - 09:33

This is so good and I feel where you're coming from.

skinner_jennifer | January 14, 2011 - 09:34

Hi Pia,

just tuned into ABC Tales, your poem was the first
I read, must have been meant to be, because it was
very moving, I think the way you explain yourself
in your work, is just right. I totally agree with
Sundays Child and FB, 'wafer thin kisses' are such
powerful words.

Thankyou for the read.

Jenny.

Highhat | January 14, 2011 - 11:35

Thanks for reading Seashore
;)pia

Highhat | January 14, 2011 - 11:36

You're quite welcome Jenny and thank you for your kind comment. Wafer thin kisses came off very well and they were just like that
;)Pia

shoe | January 14, 2011 - 12:03

Really moving and very brave, I mean to have come through it and put the past in it's place, that's a hard thing to do, excellent poem Pia.

Highhat | January 14, 2011 - 12:43

Thank you Shoe- it has to be put in it's place when it has been a bit harsh. Thank you for reading and commenting
;)Pia

MistakenMagic | January 14, 2011 - 13:21

I can really relate to this, Pia. You explain complex emotions extremely well! :)

Magic xxx

Highhat | January 14, 2011 - 17:17

Thank you very much Magic
;)Pia

Kahdai | January 26, 2011 - 19:21

Great ending Pia! So much like how I felt ;) K x

Highhat | January 28, 2011 - 11:32

Good Kahdai. Thank you very much for your feedback. It's nice to know that I hit a feeling you have as well.
;)Pia

the unfolding head | March 1, 2011 - 10:40

Hello Highhat - bit late reading this but really enjoyed it!

"But now!
I can shrug my shoulders a bit
and say
“That was my past!”
Today is now and forever."

- I couldn't agree more!! Beautifully put.

Highhat | March 1, 2011 - 18:00

Thanks UH
;)Pia