When Spring comes

Happy actually
No particular joy bugs
Nevertheless a general feeling of being
On top of things
But. . .. . .
Some days and you don’t anticipate those times,
actually imbued with
Anxiety
A simple task can knock you out.
You spend the whole morning
Really endeavouring, struggling
To prepare yourself

This is a condition
That is pretty painful and
Exhausting to say the least
The feeling wrecks you soul
Your mind is not at ease
It’s in turmoil
What do you do to lift the mood?
You breathe; deep breaths and prolonged
Exhalation
4 times, 8 times
Well at least you tried
Tears
Grind your teeth
Tension
Pounding heart

Well
Boots on; coat
Out the door
You want to turn back
but your legs keep on walking
Eventually you realise that even though
The weather is abominable
You are enjoying the walk
You hear birdsong
See others walking
Children on their
Way home from school
Dogs barking
Cats consciously
Running from A to B

You are out and about
You are free
You’ve got time on your hands
You can observe the surroundings
Down to minute detail
The dead leaves
Blown about since autumn
For some time completely
Covered in snow
The bare trees and bushes
The frost bitten lawns
Everything looks
Pretty weary

it is only February
next month is the
First month of spring
You know exactly what it is going to look like,
What it is going to sound like
How it is going to smell
But it is longed for

After a hard cold winter
And you are really
looking forward to it
Everything will be all right then
You are quite sure
No more anxiety
No battle with your conscience
Only sun and warmth
No need to prepare
Just stride out the door
And enjoy