ABC OCD - have YOU got it?
I have been examining my movements over the last few weeks since I have joined ABCTALES.
Self - assessment is not a new phenomenon in my life. I keep diaries so I can remember things, and also try to work out if I am in a good place, or bad, or up and down.
The thing is - I think I have discovered a new psychiatric disorder since joining ABC. And I have wondered if anybody else out there has ever had experienced of any of these symptoms. It would be a hell of a relief if anyone has.
And I think I know what I am talking about. I have, over the years, been diagnosed as having a wide - ranging variety of mental health problems.
Also, as Press Officer of a mental health charity, it was someone’s bright idea to put me in charge of publicising the booklets on various new mental health problems. So every time I read a booklet about something I previously remained oblivious of, well wouldn’t you know it - I had, or thought I had, all the relevant symptoms.
I will be awarding a banana for anyone who has trawled this far. I am trying to tell you about this new thing I think I have, and trying to establish my credentials for recognising a brand new disorder. So let’s get down to the nub of the thing.
Signs and symptoms of ABC OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
1) Being euphoric when you get a cherry for about ten minutes - then the worry kicks in and you think you will never get one again.
2) Reading other people’s work and thinking you will never, ever be that good.
3) Reading other people’s work and thinking that your work is as good as theirs yet they got a cherry and you didn’t.
4) After posting - you keep logging on to see if you have cherry.
5) After posting you keep logging on to see what comments people have made.
6) If you do not get a cherry and only about one comment you quickly delete your work.
7) You think that the editor in question doesn’t like your work, or understand your work.
8) If you have written a poem you become convinced that the editor prefers prose.
9) If you write prose you become convinced the editor prefers poetry.
10) You log on at strange times of the day or night - then if caught in the act pretend to you are ‘just checking your emails’. This is in the event of inquisitive members of you family enquiring what you are doing on your laptop at 3.00am
If you have can strongly identify your behaviour by agreeing with between one and three of the above then you need to start tracking your behaviour, as you could be in danger of developing ABC OCD.
If you agree with four or more of the above then you probably have got ABC OCD. You certainly require treatment which may consist of going on a long holiday where you have no computer access. No sneaking into internet cafes abroad. This would mean you are hopeless and require sectioning.
If you cannot remotely identify with any of the above then I don’t really think you can call yourself a writer as you clearly do not have the sensitivity to be creative.
I hope this has clarified the disorder and its inherent dangers. I am in recovery, however am still suffering frequent relapses. Excuse me - there's just something I need to check...
Comments
Highhat | April 29, 2011 - 09:34
I think this is very funny and at the same time I can relate to the disorder on a lot of counts. Though it doesn't worry me too much but I am glad that you brought it up. Then I am not alone.
;)Pia
Overthetop1 | April 29, 2011 - 10:33
Thanks very much Pia. You are definitely not on your own!
Terrence Oblong | April 29, 2011 - 10:37
I'm definitely on the spectrum. Hope it gets a cherry as I wouldn't want you to delete it
insertponceyfre... | April 29, 2011 - 10:53
ok - you have ten minutes before it's time to start worrying again ....
one little typo:
I hope this has clarified the disorder and it’s inherent dangers
seashore | April 29, 2011 - 11:58
Yes definitely have it....
adora | April 29, 2011 - 13:23
Got all the symptoms...think I need sectioning.
flash | April 29, 2011 - 14:23
i recognized 9 of the 10 symptoms... but then added about five more!!!
Oh shit!! Is there a cure ?
xx
Alan
seashore | April 29, 2011 - 15:04
It's a relief to have a diagnosis and to know one is amongst a lot of other bonkers people....correction bonkers CREATIVE people!
Geoffrey | April 29, 2011 - 16:09
I shall keep going back and rereading this one. From now on I reckon all my bananas will be free.
seannelson | April 30, 2011 - 02:46
I fit the bill- have for years. Though with time and cherries, that part gets a lot more chill. You learn that you never really know what's going to strike the editors or other readers, but if you keep writing creatively, it all comes.
SundaysChild | April 30, 2011 - 19:48
This is GREAT!!
Overthetop1 | May 2, 2011 - 14:36
I would have replied to all of you personally and am very anxious that I haven't (another symptom) but I have been away trying a new cure which didn't work so sorry Flash - there is no cure.
I did discover -through texting a member of my family (another symptom) that I had a cherry so thanks ed for cherry. I got my ten minutes.
Bananas all round and loads of thanks to everyone who posted. We are all OUT now at least - and yes I do feel better - for a bit anyhow!
OTT
oldpesky | May 2, 2011 - 16:10
Yes, I loved this, and must admit to being another sufferer.
Overthetop1 | May 3, 2011 - 23:23
Thanks Oldpesky - and a huge thanks again to everyone who commented - especially Blighters Rock and Flash who made me laugh out loud!
Thanks Seannelson for giving me a bit of hope - I can only pray I do get more chilled out as time goes on!
OTT
alex_tomlin | May 4, 2011 - 16:23
It feels good to know I am not alone - at last my condition has a name! All we need now is an ABCtales OCD support group...
Overthetop1 | May 5, 2011 - 00:41
Excellent idea alex - there's certainly enough of us!
OTT
fatboy74 | May 14, 2011 - 20:46
This is absolutely on the money OTT - time is the greatest healer, I don't worry about cherries too much, love getting comments but am totally ridiculous over read counts, which I study and worry about as much as I used to worry about Michael Atherton's Test average. A wonderful piece this. :-)
Overthetop1 | May 15, 2011 - 12:19
Thanks very much for that FB. I do the read count thing too. It really is a conundrum why one piece gets so many reads and another one gets about 30!
BTW My husband says if you're into cricket you Must, by hook or crook, go and see 'Fire In Babylon'. He has been in a brilliant mood ever since and is now trying to unearth the soundtrack!
well-wisher | May 15, 2011 - 12:45
Good story and so true.
I think I've had ABC OCD a few times. Especially symptoms 1) to 6).
I haven't had symptoms 8) and 9) but I have been convinced that the editors don't like Song Lyrics (or perhaps think that they're easy to write)
I think there's more than one editor. I assumed that insertponceyfrenchnamehere and celticman were editors (please correct me if I'm wrong) but I'm not sure just how many editors there are working on ABCtales.
I've just had a holiday abroad though (and I'm due to have another one soon) and it hasn't really cured my ABC OCD or my pernicious writer's block.
Geoffrey | May 15, 2011 - 16:19
I contacted T. Cook who should know about editors and he replied that there were currently 5. One of whom is in USA. This is a truly international albeit English speaking organisation!
Overthetop1 | May 16, 2011 - 06:58
Thanks very much well - wisher for your comments. Believe me I have every sympathy - both for ABC OCD & having writers block, which I now have badly after knocking this piece out!
fatboy74 | May 16, 2011 - 10:38
Ta for the heads up - I'll look it up. :-)
RachelPatricia | May 18, 2011 - 13:01
I'm a sufferer too! Many belated congrats on this, OTT - truly inspired!
Rachel xx
Overthetop1 | May 19, 2011 - 13:47
Thank you very much for taking the time to read this Rachel - & my comiserations on what is a truly horrible disease! And there seems to be no cure in sight....!
Moonlight | July 25, 2011 - 09:33
I must admit this is excellent.
"Truly inspired"
"Truly horrible disease"
About the comments, very, very interesting!!
Overthetop1 | July 25, 2011 - 14:18
Thank you very much for reading and comment Moonlight. I was amazed at the amount of people who `came out' with the awful blight that is ABC OCD!
skinner_jennifer | November 25, 2011 - 19:12
I just wish I had one ounce of your humour and sharp
wit, then I don't think I would have to worry about
any of those signs or symptoms, of which yes I'm
sorry to say I do experience.
A really great sharp read.
Jenny.
Christine | December 1, 2011 - 17:35
I think I am reading these in the wrong order but it doesn't matter because they are hilarious. I find it hard to get through a lot of text on screen. But not yours. I wish I'd thought of it first.