In the Meantime, join the Fellowship of Suffering

My ponderings on the concept of the “Fellowship of Suffering” after watching Andy Stanley’s DVD on what to do “In the Meantime” whilst you are waiting for something, or are ‘stuck’ in a situation you can’t change. As God works in His AMAZING ways, I was reading “A Voice in the Wind” by Francine Rivers (a loan from a friend) at the same time as I was watching the Stanley series. The book is a fictional historical recapture of the Biblical times of Paul and the disciples, which Andy Stanley speaks about in the DVD series… unbelievable!

A fellow in my ‘Fellowship of Suffering’:  Hadassah, a fictional character, who chooses God over love of the earthly kind… her reasons are as mine: Trusting God; an inability to deal with the guilt and consequences around not choosing God; a knowing in our souls that He is The Way and The Life, without Him there is no Hope, or Genuine Love, or Freedom from self-oppression. To choose an unGodly man would be insane, when there is a SOUL-BELIEF that The Best way forward is to be yoked with a Godly man, a man who lives, breathes and acts Biblical Principles for real (meaning that the Principles of Goodness aren’t only shown only as lip service but in reality; meaning that if he doesn’t act in a Biblical way then he feels the hypocrisy and the guilt and his conscious gnaws at his soul and he falls apart without God). A man who knows that putting God first, and not himself, is the only way to live without being in perpetual Darkness, turmoil and purposelessness.

Another current fellowship member: Marcus - of the book “Echo in the Darkness”, by Francine Rivers - and how everything on earth has lost its value to him: taste is no longer a sensual activity, life’s adventurous exhilarations no longer have an effect like they did before; and all because his eyes have been opened to truth, to LOVE in its true awesomeness. Even so, Marcus still holds onto the Darkness so he can ‘have his way’, ultimately denying, by choice, his own freedom, his own choice to know LOVE in the form of an INCREDIBLE GOD. The choice to know: ULTIMAT EPEACE. The choice to know God through the example of Jesus Christ and the suggested way of Living the Bible teaches. Once again I join Marcus in the ‘Fellowship of Suffering’ because he too hears a voice in the wind, a voice that literally matches the timbre of the voice of the person he fell completely and entirely in love with – body, mind and soul. I too hit that realisation nearly 6 years ago, when I met the man whose voice timbre matched the voice of ‘God in my head’... My experience was the reverse of Marcus’s; I heard ‘God’s voice’ first, then I heard the man’s voice that matched it. Marcus met the woman first and then heard her voice in his head afterwards. Either way: Fellowship of Suffering. Both of us will get through it somehow. I have yet to finishing reading the book, I bought it yesterday :)

I know that there is no logical explanation for anything that I am going through. I know that God’s instruction to me over the last 6 years has been “wait”: Wait through melancholic depression. Wait through anxiety and post-traumatic-stress. Wait through physical ailments that have taken me away from my release, my third love: Dancing. Wait through the unhappy, embarrassing and socially-awkward biological state of gluten intolerance, dairy intolerance and crazy-horrible reactions to sugar and alcohol. Wait through the work stress that has not stopped mounting for years with unforeseeable circumstances and colleagues who ‘couldn’t cope’. Wait through financial struggles; wait through family conflicts, explosions and heart-breaking realisations that I would never, ever, have expected. Wait through recovery from accidents. Wait through a searing lonely, empty, separate-from-human-love incompleteness that defies all human rationale and understanding. Wait through the stress of transport hell and fear. Wait through the blood tests and medical trials. Wait through the chronic fatigue. Wait through the confusion and brokenness of being human in a broken world. Wait… that’s was I have been called to do, that’s what my being, my soul, my bones tell me… wait… and now, I have recently been reminded that the waiting, the “in the Meantime suffering”, is purposeful. That all I have been through and am going through in these hardships, purely by the strength and power of my most Awesome Father in Heaven, is my qualification and ability to be uniquely and precisely trained to help others and open the way for them to know that whatever they are going through, however many years it lasts, it will be ok. God is GOOD and you WILL survive, you WILL reap wonderful moments and be used in INCREDIBLE ways to comfort others as God has and IS comforting you. Your life has incredible purpose, if you choose to let it be so. I am choosing to let it be so. I am choosing to have purpose, to use the hell I have been living through to serve others, to be a ‘Hadassah’ and trust in kindness, goodness, truth, honesty, responsibility, accountability, love, purity and hope. I want to live a life I can be proud of, a life where I can stand in front of God, man, whoever, and genuinely say: “I gave my all, I did my best, I gave and I loved as best I could in my brokenness. I chose to have purpose.”

So; do I know for sure if the man with the voice really is “The One” God would like me to be with in person? No. Do I know if what I am waiting for will ever happen as I have imagined? No. Do I know if I am “psychologically” OK? No. Will I keep trusting and waiting? Yes. ABSOLUTELY; for my path is not my own, I am in a joint venture with God and He is a GOOD GOD. I know my conscience and I know what will ruin my story. What will ruin my story is taking the reins from God and trying to do things ‘my way’. What will ruin my desire to end my life with a good story is if I stop listening to the voice, from wherever it comes, and I force myself to go against my Soul-knowing; THAT would be a far, far worse way to live than anything else I can imagine; and I have one very explicit and capable imagination going on ;)

May you choose your story wisely, and live it well. May you join in the “Fellowship of Suffering” to give yourself purpose and overflowing joy. May God’s peace and Love be with you in your journey, every step of the way. God Bless. 

Comments

"… the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God" (2 Corinthians 1:3,4) Other Christians may have very different struggles, but just as you can be a support to those in similar troubles to yourself, you can also have support from those who may not have known your particular struggles, but all of us need to be led in study of the Word, ie good, expository and practical preaching, so we can grow in our knowledge of Him, and talking of it with each other. Rhiannon

 

Hi Rhainnon, apologies for my seriously tardy relpy ... my year has been exhaustingly too much... thankfully it is drawing near a close now - Amen to that! The verse you placed at the opening of the comment was synchronised with something going on in my life right now - sweet! True words you have typed. Have an AWESOME Festive Season, overflowing in Grace and Love $

 

I light a candle for those overpowered by suffering.

(((I)))

Stephen d

It's kind of you to light that candle. Hoping that those who are suffering are metaphorically candles of light themselves as their suffering has lifted them into the realms of empathy and understanding that no other journey can create :) 

Have a superb Festive Season :)