Great feedback

10 Votes

Comments

Posted on Wed, 06 Aug 2014

I cannot over stress the importance of commenting on other writers' work.  The benefits aren't just the obvious ones of providing feedback and recieving reciprocal comments yourself.  The hidden benefit is that your own writing standard will...

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Posted in Dust

4 Votes

Not at all, but you don't

Posted on Mon, 31 Aug 2015

Not at all, but you don't want repetition. In the second line you have the word "air" twice and only five words apart. The fourth line has "with every" twice, once again only a few words apart. It may seem petty but these are the things that stop...

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Posted in Chapter 2: Gone (John)

4 Votes

Came for crying tree stayed

Posted on Mon, 17 Aug 2015

Came for crying tree stayed for hard drugs. 8/8

Welcome to the site, you can't leave.

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Posted in Weeping Willow

4 Votes

Oh Tina, So heart wrenching, :)

Posted on Thu, 03 Apr 2014

smileyOh Tina, This is such a powerful, beautiful, well expressed poem, yet heart...

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Posted in Today I Wrote a Poem

4 Votes

It seems that you may have

Posted on Sat, 25 Jan 2014

It seems that you may have stumbled upon a whole new form of storytelling here, by listing life's struggles through the evidential pain of the past, and as if that wasn't enough, you've exceeded all expectation by presenting an awe-inspiring...

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Posted in Tissue Atlas

3 Votes

Thank you for this, Kevin. I

Posted on Mon, 07 Aug 2017

Thank you for this, Kevin. I have a copy of Bound for Glory on my nightstand. (Do read Woody Guthrie: A Life by Joe Klein.) Still trying to find a footing after great loss. You lose your sense of self and wonder if you'll ever get it back. Those...

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Posted in You, me and Woody Guthrie

3 Votes

Hi, Jay. I agree with Elsie

Posted on Fri, 05 Dec 2014

Hi, Jay. I agree with Elsie here. I've read a few of your pieces and it seems to me that these are your personal views (I apoligise if I've misunderstood). These are questions being asked ever increasingly in England, as well as the rest of the U...

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Posted in WHAT'S GOING ON IN OUR COUNTRY?

3 Votes

Good

Posted on Sat, 15 Aug 2015

Well if this is your first poem you've got real potential as your experience and practise grows. I really quite like this piece although romance poetry is not something that I would actively seek out.  A couple of observations if I may?

...

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Posted in first poem not great

3 Votes

i can't understand the first

Posted on Tue, 11 Aug 2015

i can't understand the first para... there seems to be lots of typos:

Josh rubbed his three day stubble and  looked turned towards Lyn, who smiled sternly.
The kids were being noisy and the traffic was heavy.  A combination...

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Posted in Whistle on the wynd part 1

3 Votes

I liked this a lot. The voice

Posted on Mon, 10 Aug 2015

I liked this a lot. The voice of your narrator was well-expressed. I felt like I could hear her speaking as I read. Your diction is absolutely on point and the content of the story gave me a window into her world.

 

If I were to...

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Posted in A Little Tart

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