Great feedback

3 Votes

i can't understand the first

Posted on Tue, 11 Aug 2015

i can't understand the first para... there seems to be lots of typos:

Josh rubbed his three day stubble and  looked turned towards Lyn, who smiled sternly.
The kids were being noisy and the traffic was heavy.  A combination...

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Posted in Whistle on the wynd part 1

3 Votes

I liked this a lot. The voice

Posted on Mon, 10 Aug 2015

I liked this a lot. The voice of your narrator was well-expressed. I felt like I could hear her speaking as I read. Your diction is absolutely on point and the content of the story gave me a window into her world.

 

If I were to...

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Posted in A Little Tart

3 Votes

This had a wonderful flow.

Posted on Tue, 05 May 2015

This had a wonderful flow. Should be read aloud on the steps of the world's libraries. As a matter of fact. I'm passing by the New York Public Library. I'll print out a few copies and leave it with the lions.

Rch

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Posted in Banned Books

3 Votes

captured these moments with

Posted on Wed, 14 Jan 2015

captured these moments with lovely, delicate subtle word combinations...lines like reaching through the drivers door/to conjure up a metallic scraping/until the engine bubbled into life/like a mountain spring bottling these little cameos, as you...

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Posted in The Mechanic

3 Votes

I really enjoyed the clarity

Posted on Sun, 29 Dec 2013

I really enjoyed the clarity of the writing, especially the 'insomniac sensory memory...' the power of an image to spring out at you in the present and clarify some aspect of the past.  something you want to forget or had forgotten..The Dance...

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Posted in Remembering M

3 Votes

Love this, Tina. Bottled

Posted on Thu, 26 Dec 2013

Love this, Tina. Bottled 'laughter' is my childhood obsession. Used to fill bottles with laughter from age 7, still have them, don't dare take the lids off. You've applied a dear metaphor to a much loved person. Except it isn't a metaphor, it's...

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Posted in Mistletoe and Mothballs

3 Votes

Loved this perspective of our

Posted on Mon, 09 Dec 2013

Loved this perspective of our great city Johnshade. Great lines in this.

Whorish lipstick on a pox scarred face, Pornographic Nurses on a Cholera ward, suicide induced small talk, and then the best of all, the last line.

Great stuff...

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Posted in I Heart London

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