celticman

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I have 619 stories published in 7 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 363065 times and 539 of my stories have been cherry picked.
273 of my 10,002 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 278 votes

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My stories

Cherry

Grimms59

On the day of his dad’s funeral Tony gets himself ready early while the care staff busy themselves having a meeting to decide who is to accompany him...
Cherry

Grimms58

Bruno perches on the bed in the muggy heat of his room with his jacket zipped up, and the leather strap of his school bag over his shoulder, waiting...
Cherry

Grimms57

Pizza Face pulls his duffle coat hood down, to show he is serious, even though the rain is coming down horizontal. He does a feint and step-over, is...
Cherry

Grimms56

Angela stands, waiting. Bob shouts again. ‘Jesus,’ he rants, when there’s no reply and no sign of footfall. ‘You better come in, then.’ She cranes...
Cherry

Grimms55

Pizza Face sits on the floor in the living room, his back against the wall, tilting his head, gnawing at his thumbnail until his cuticles redden and...

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273 of my comments have received 278 Great Feedback votes

2 Votes

Grandad smiled[,] nodding

Posted on Thu, 01 Oct 2015

Grandad smiled[,] nodding

Occasionally he pause[d] bit muddled here as you've got Jake interrupting himself and taking over the conversation with himself, but you mean he takes over the convesation with Toby...

Brilliant. characters...

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Posted in Jake Mutant - Chapter Three

2 Votes

honesty helps with understand

Posted on Mon, 27 Jul 2015

honesty helps with understand and with understanding we learn that we are all human, all falliable and all unique in our wrongness which makes it alright. Peace be with you. 

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Posted in Byrd Jones, Teacher and Grandfather

2 Votes

words can be wonderous

Posted on Sat, 20 Jun 2015

words can be wonderous visions, but peel back house and home and there is there was and ever shall be that moment when beauty arises. 

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Posted in Lace Wings

2 Votes

I think my Mother should be

Posted on Thu, 29 Jan 2015

I think my Mother should be lower case [my mother cf but if you take away the my you'll get away with it. I could never speak like Mother {her name} here]. 

I'm not sure you need to tell the reader the narrator is invisble. Make him...

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Posted in Spiky Stick

2 Votes

I'm sure there's a metaphor

Posted on Wed, 27 Aug 2014

I'm sure there's a metaphor here. Spit it out.

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Posted in Spit Out the Bugs in Your Mouth

2 Votes

Kicked up a gear. Her turning

Posted on Mon, 16 Jun 2014

Kicked up a gear. Her turning on him is good, but maybe express some of the doubts about Ian earlier. A kind of layering effect. His violence towards her is a good way of keeping it real.

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Posted in Ch26: Stolen July 12th part 2

2 Votes

silence, is often a pause

Posted on Sat, 31 May 2014

silence, is often a pause before the encore.

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Posted in War of Sounds

1 Vote

golf is an industry and

Posted on Fri, 14 Apr 2017

golf is an industry and golfers take increasing amounts of stuff onto the course so they can play better. But do the? Who cares? It's a nice walk I suppose. 

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Posted in Putting the Cart Before the Course

1 Vote

I guess we are all lumps of

Posted on Fri, 14 Apr 2017

I guess we are all lumps of clay, but some lumps are bigger than others. 

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Posted in Being Adam

1 Vote

First person isn't omscient

Posted on Wed, 12 Apr 2017

First person isn't omscient or omnipotent. The narrator is that writes in the first person, or second or third (I'm not sure of fourth person? because I don't know what it is). The wrter writes so s/he is all of these things. The characters s/he...

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Posted in Omnincompetent

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