480 of my comments have received 493 Great Feedback votes
lost some narrative structure
Posted on Fri, 07 Feb 2020
lost some narrative structure here. Compelling as it is, turned into a rant. You can't hate your reader for not knowing. Not experiencing. Teach us in truth by telling a story that resonates in our hearts. The simple truth I understand is most-...Read full comment
Posted in Recognizing a Hero In Addict (7 cont&8)
That he didn’t know where he
Posted on Fri, 24 Jan 2020
That he didn’t know where he fit in in the world although he also knew that it was easier to go through life just pretending that he did.[too many ins and not eough fitted]
backsided and back rent, what more could a story need? I'm sorry...Read full comment
Posted in A Piece of Ass. Part 4. Mermaid.
Then on the morning before he
Posted on Mon, 20 Jan 2020
Then on the morning before he was due to leave, at breakfast, half a sardine, his mother pushed a woollen thing towards him.
Somehow I though he was going to France. I no longer am able to spot a refugee as I'm too busy...Read full comment
this is great. I enjoyed
Posted on Tue, 14 Jan 2020
this is great. I enjoyed reading it. I can see how so much training would make you incredibly fit, but, ironically, have such adverse affect on your bones. The killer line is it became drudgery. Just another way of making a buck. Amen to that. I...Read full comment
Posted in An Unexpected Change
wow, that's an ending.
Posted on Sat, 04 Jan 2020
wow, that's an ending. Cherynobyl. That's a begining. And the middle ain't bad either.Read full comment