634 of my comments have received 651 Great Feedback votes
super-intendent [no hyphen,
Posted on Sat, 12 Jun 2021
super-intendent [no hyphen, superintendent. And it would be better if you told the reader what he was superintending in your first twenty years. I know you were a teacher. But most readers don't.
I had to look up Kalliope, music box with...Read full comment
Posted in Fire in the Lighthouse
a loud whiisper is an
Posted on Fri, 04 Jun 2021
a loud whiisper is an oxymoron. But I know what you mean. Choose whiisper or loud. Not both.
moonlight doesn't trickle.
great start, plenty of foot-to-the-floor action. And the question of what they needed to steal and why remains...Read full comment
Posted in Don't Look Back
Blade Runner was certainly
Posted on Tue, 01 Jun 2021
Blade Runner was certainly better than the book. They tended to be prescient, but shit. Brought up o a diet of Star Trek, this is one of the great monolgues (not in the book). I'm rambling. Great poem.Read full comment
Posted in Roy Batty (Tears in Rain)