12 of my comments have received 13 Great Feedback votes
It's the mothballs
Posted on Tue, 10 Jan 2017
I remember, and the faint smell of Lion pee and Turkish Delight.... hahaha. I do not know anyone who has never explored their parents' wardrobe. When I was 8, my dad's wardrobe had hundreds of football programmes from the 40's and 50's; Rangers...Read full comment
Posted in Grimms5
Posted on Wed, 03 May 2017
and how I write (I know, we're all different) I'd keep banging these out and then edit when you've completed a narrative (arc or spiral, who cares?) This is all sufficiently intriguing for me to persevere. If Tim needs to go, get rid of him later...Read full comment
Posted in Boatman's dream 10
Posted on Thu, 07 Jul 2016
agree with Jack that the ending seems a little rushed. I'm not sure I want to see (much) more backstory or a substantially longer piece, though. Have you thought about making the story arc more circular... start from just before where it...Read full comment
Posted in Flowers (Part Two of Two) (IP)
A long time ago...
Posted on Mon, 28 Mar 2016
When I was first posting on ABCTales (I think) BJD was around too. I know he was when I was an editor. He must have gone away for a while. Any comments, though very insightful and worth following, were sometimes really, well, not fluffy. I know...Read full comment
Posted in COSMIC ARBORETUM
Posted on Fri, 18 Mar 2016
Almost everything you do has me thinking of gothic cathedrals and mediaeval buildings. Perhaps it's the ring o' roses I hear. Nice nod to the grumpy Librarian, too.
Yep, the no-win situation of low-self esteem. "I can't be any good because...Read full comment
Posted in Hereditary fears
Posted on Tue, 09 Feb 2016
All the best science fiction, this is our own present and reality viewed in a fun-house mirror. I'm going to read part two now. This is a great beginning. The voice is believable and distinctive. As it's 1st person POV you can get away with a...Read full comment
Posted in The Net Caster (Part One)
Posted on Wed, 06 Jan 2016
nothing wrong with a long sentence, provided it's completely clear and you don't lose the reader on the way. Dickens was pretty good at sentences which sometimes seemed like Latin periods, but he was a dab hand with a semi and full colon. Unlike...Read full comment
Posted in the hungry earth (2 of 2)
Posted on Sun, 05 Oct 2014
...agree there's some nice description.
You need to avoid a tendency to tell. 'He had been able to avoid... etc.'
I'm not sure I believe the internal monologue in the paragraph beginning. 'He looked past the end...' You say the boy...Read full comment
Posted in K Ward - part 1 (Out of Sight)