I have 1585 stories published in
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My stories have been read 1218085 times and 895 of my stories have been cherry picked.
90 of my 2,616 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 93 votes
90 of my comments have received 93 Great Feedback votes
Posted on Sun, 05 Oct 2014
...agree there's some nice description.
You need to avoid a tendency to tell. 'He had been able to avoid... etc.'
I'm not sure I believe the internal monologue in the paragraph beginning. 'He looked past the end...' You say the boy...Read full comment
Posted in K Ward - part 1 (Out of Sight)
Posted on Fri, 13 Jun 2014
Hey Jack, great pieces on an interesting day.
Just one thing:
"I offered Ewan a cheese sandwich, but he said his
friend had made him an old-fashioned bacon buttie. They’d been in the
army together. I went to sit on the...
Posted in Unbounders Away