I have 1433 stories published in
25 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 1070951 times and 758 of my stories have been cherry picked.
72 of my 2,402 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 73 votes
72 of my comments have received 73 Great Feedback votes
Posted on Wed, 06 Jan 2016
nothing wrong with a long sentence, provided it's completely clear and you don't lose the reader on the way. Dickens was pretty good at sentences which sometimes seemed like Latin periods, but he was a dab hand with a semi and full colon. Unlike...Read full comment
Posted in the hungry earth (2 of 2)
Posted on Sun, 05 Oct 2014
...agree there's some nice description.
You need to avoid a tendency to tell. 'He had been able to avoid... etc.'
I'm not sure I believe the internal monologue in the paragraph beginning. 'He looked past the end...' You say the boy...Read full comment
Posted in K Ward - part 1 (Out of Sight)
Posted on Fri, 13 Jun 2014
Hey Jack, great pieces on an interesting day.
Just one thing:
"I offered Ewan a cheese sandwich, but he said his
friend had made him an old-fashioned bacon buttie. They’d been in the
army together. I went to sit on the...
Posted in Unbounders Away