Part 6 - Being Single, how do you motivate yourself on your low days?

Donna

I trust in God to give me the strength to carry on.

Alyss,

Oh, this is a tough one. There are more low days now than there have ever been. I do not recommend living far away from family and friends. My motivation has completely angled itself into Bible reading and studying. Loads of online sermons and Instagram sermon clips/motivational clips. I do feel like this lonely, low time has a purpose though, in a very strange, yet sensible way, even if I don’t understand what or how. Unfortunately, Facebook is a bit of a black hole that just sucks me in without achieving anything and that usually puts me into Mark Mason’s Feedback Loop from Hell, because I am low, so I get on Facebook, achieve nothing, see others being well – in their highlight reel – then get frustrated with myself for wasting the time, which feedbacks and so the cycle goes. Then the thought is also there that if I spent 7 hours on social media no-one would know or care, so why worry about it? Which is a depressing thought in itself. So, overall, for a lift: grocery shopping is good, and I chat to the tellers. I take long walks; it used to be along the beach promenade, now it’s in a Wildlife Sanctuary. Taking my camera and photographing the wildlife is a big help. Praise and Worship Music is a great motivational uplifter – I use that every morning. Putting on the radio also helps things to be less lonely. A good book is great, but that can absorb as much time as Facebook does. Cleaning the house is also good, and so are baking, gardening and feeding the wild birdlife in my area. Generally, weekend mornings are long and slow, but once the afternoon kicks in, I start to get things going and I know I can make it through the rest of the day. Week days are easier as my days are full and busy and very long with too much to do; so focusing on others, a purpose and work to do keeps me from staying in the wallow and depression of low days. My home is a patchwork design of motivational thoughts, gifts and notes all over the place, to help me remember that I am loved, and that I have brought good meaning into the world.

CJ

Truthfully, I am on anti-depressants to help cope with work stress and anxiety. However, I always remind myself how lucky and grateful I am to have my two fur babies, my family and friends. I also purchased a house last year after 17 years of renting, and have thrown myself into redecorating the spaces to truly make it my home.

Alexa

I was in my mid 30s when I realized that I could continue to feel sorry for myself not being married and having a family, or I could make the most of being single and doing things my married friends couldn’t do because they had kids.  So, I travelled and went to London and New York on holiday.  My married friends were green with envy.  I would still like to have a man to share my life with, but I have learnt to water the grass on my side of the fence.  I argue with God about it and then I get on with my life.

KA

With prayer, music, self-talk and the promise of some kind of favourite treat at the end of my day, like chocolate, watching a movie, seeing a friend, etc.

NH

I am fortunate to know other wonderful, intelligent, beautiful 40-somethings who are still single.  We must all have had the thought “What is wrong with me?”.  Not being the only one is a huge comfort to me.  Plus, life is too hectic to allow me much time to sit around and mope – I just have to get on with it!

Lizanne

Some days, motivating myself is not possible and I’ve had to realise that this is also OK. I don’t have to have all the answers and I try to be gentle on myself. In general, I try and see the good on a daily basis and what I am grateful for.

C.B.

I get physical to motivate myself.I have never been a depressive personality.