cold cures

18 posts / 0 new

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Wed, 2003-11-05 00:22

cold cures

I haven't had a cold for ages, years in fact. I've put it down to the fact that the few germs that manage to penetrate the nicotine are wiped out by the alcohol.

But, in the last few days, something has got through and I feel like shitt. I have a permanent headache (a sure sign of sinus), I'm sneezing so much that ring'o'ring'o'roses is now a worrying tune and I find I am very, very grumpy with my family, life in general, and abcfails.

I look forward to seeing your remedies (the quirkier the better) for the common cold and, even better, solutions for my grumpyness - particularly toward life in general (which desrves to be shot) and abcfails (which deserves to be taken from behind ... hard.)

No, scrap my last comment in brackets, sex is enjoyable.

*runs for kitchen towel as can feel sneeze on monitor coming on*

Wed, 2003-11-05 19:42

Ely Whitley

try and stay vertical. I know it sounds silly but at the end of the day snot is mainly liquid. It worked for John Merrick!

Wed, 2003-11-05 20:36

miss piggy

Fresh lemon, garlic and ginger tea. Tastes like **** but works wonders. Stick some brandy & rum in it and you'll be too drunk to care

Wed, 2003-11-05 22:43

stormy

OK, I'm doing all the above at once. Colds are good!

Thu, 2003-11-06 00:02

pais

You could try balancing your chakras by going up a welsh hillside in the rain and shouting "I'M A POOOOOEEEEEEEEEETTTTTT" then tearing off all your clothes. Works for me.

Thu, 2003-11-06 00:09

stormy

Yes, I watched wife swap too and that's the only edition I've seen that ended with a feel good factor. The rest, I suspect, will end in divorce. Reality TV. Why do these people do it?

Thu, 2003-11-06 11:20

Tony Cook

Go immediately to the Pope Idol thread, do not collect £200, do not pass go and get involved with our bid to put together the best reality TV show ever.

Thu, 2003-11-06 11:30

Rachel

Dunno but it makes good viewing. There's another one, I think ITV on Thursdays, called family holiday swap. If there's one recipe for arguments, tears and randy spouses that's got to be the one. Last week was hilarious!

Thu, 2003-11-06 13:32

stormy

It was wasn't it? Don't these people realise the producer is going to match them with their complete opposites? Yet they spend the entire time moaning because it's nothing like their own holiday and the food is different and the people are too posh/too common.

Thu, 2003-11-06 18:57

#10

sabelle

But they want to be on the telly. Someone I work with was on one of the reality progs. She is loud and crass - that's why they chose her. Didn't become famous though

Wed, 2003-11-05 00:30

#11

Hox

Storms, have you tried hanging a large brass candlestick from your scrotum? It won't cure the cold, but it will take your mind off it.

Wed, 2003-11-05 00:33

#12

stormy

Oh, I meant to say my wife bought me some decongestant tablets. After the usual smallprint it says this: "This medicine may cause fast heart rate, changes in heart rhythm, palpitations, high blood pressure, nausea, vomiting, headache, and occasionally urine retention in males." Right. I think I'll stick to the sinus problem, thanks.

Wed, 2003-11-05 00:40

#13

stormy

Hox, we are out of large brass candlesticks at the mo'. I asked mrs stormy if she would swing from my scrotum but she said 'will I bollocks'

Wed, 2003-11-05 00:45

#14

Hox

O.K. sensible suggestion, Olbas oil, to be inhaled. Natural product, and no side effects, unless you get the bottle stuck up your hooter.

Wed, 2003-11-05 00:51

#15

fish

money can carry germs stormy ... please parcel yours up and send it for decontamination to fish the fish house fishville glad to be of service mwah

Wed, 2003-11-05 01:14

#16

stormy

*sends fish a contaminated fiver* mwah *goes to bed, still feeling **** but lighter* xx

Wed, 2003-11-05 11:06

#17

Rachel

Vindaloo! My dad swore by it for any ailment from malaria to a sniffle.

Wed, 2003-11-05 11:29

#18

Tony Cook

Don't stop at the traditional one hot toddy - have twenty. You'll be so out of it you won't remember you have a cold. And if it starts to wear off, have some more. When you can no longer remember why you are drinking all these hot toddies you will find that your cold has disappeared.

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