secrets

The answer is learn to love one another and teach your children the same.

And as for secrets... I am monumentally scared of fire, specifically my house catching fire. At night, and when I go out, I turn off all the plug sockets. I wont have anything electrical happening. If I have to go out in the day leaving an open fire burning (although it has huge cast iron doors), I worry endlessly until I get home, that the door have broken, or that the chimnney has caught fire. I wont go to bed with a fire blazing either. Banking it up overnight is never an option, and I get up early to make a fresh fire so that the kids wont be cold. Driving home, an unusual cloud formation in the general direction of where I live, can make me so worried, that I shake. Stupid.

I'm sorry radio, I so nearly didn't post that and wish i hadn't now. Of course nobody thinks it "serves them bloody right", that comment was about US soldiers (who, I recognise, don't deserve it either). When i first heard about Columbine I understood immediatly why they did it, because I'd felt that way myself when I was that age. I believe I nearly cried myself, I often do at the news

Dan, it's okay....The 20th is the 6th anniversary and it's a somber mood here right now and I'm not exactly mentally stable about the issue. I doubt I'll ever be. This isn't about me....It was the least I could do to post up the link to their memorial. I'll be going to the park by the school next week and probably have a good cry with everyone. I'm so sick of people killing, you'll never know...

i got sexually abused by my step dad when i was 12

What does an *'s step-dad look like?

he was tall and thin

Everybody is tall when you're 12 and only * high.

I'm so sorry there's so much suffering in the world. It doesn't have to be this way...

Before civilisation nobody knew it was suffering.

I'm sure you're right, Missi. Before civilisation there was highly likely a great deal of suffering, only it was more attuned to fundamental issues of survival rather than all the mucky shite that goes on nowdays. Then again, one could argue that what goes on nowdays is also an issue of survival, only on a more complex level...

This one made me laugh!

Lots of poignant a quirky stuff on there. I liked 'He was never really into Me but I let him fake it for a whole year' - paraphrased.

"The following error was encountered: Access Denied. Access control configuration prevents your request from being allowed at this time. Please contact your service provider if you feel this is incorrect. Your cache administrator is root. " It must be the way you tell 'em Smillie [%sig%]

Hox, I can see a nice postcard with lots of pills on it. Then again, I see blue men on the window sill at aunties.

I have a secret longing to give every single vodafone customer I speak to on the phone a 1p credit. On the credit note will appear the words : 'Congratulations you are this months winner.'

I like that, Ritchie.

I still want to play with star wars figures, lego, hotwheels and mechano. Am secretly looking forward to when marley gets old enough to have these things, so I can play with them again.

This is really cool!

You should get some star wars lego now while it's still available, sure to provide years of fun. And your kid will like it too

There were loads of secrets i could identify with here. but here are some of my own " i claim to be a christian but i find it hard to make the time to pray." " sometimes i like seeing other people suffer" "i hate my psychpotherapist so much that i constantly wish he was dead and fantasize that he is dead and watching down on me and realises just how wrong he got it" "i have stood up scores of men and never feel the slightest twinge of guilt" " i have snogged men because I've been skint so they would buy me a beer"

jude you are really the most wonderfully un-nunny would-be nun I could ever imagine.

some of mine would be: I like driving around just letting people into traffic so that we can do those little acknowledgement waves to each other. The same with smiling. I like smiling at people when they walk past - even the grumpy ones usually smile back. Whenever I think of my 3 year old neice Hollie I swell up with so much love that I can make myself cry. I worry when bath towels touch the carpet in case they pick up loads of mites, and have to shake them out afterwards or wash them. Same with my feet: before I get into bed I have to wipe my feet *on top* of the duvet so I don't transfer anything into the bed. (this actually sounds very weird now I've admitted it out loud). I cannot sit on a chair in a computer lab if it is warm. I have been known to go into town and get a cup of coffee from the Norwich market coffee man just because he is attractive and twinkles at me (and every other woman who goes there, I know I know). When I get my hair cut I spend at least 10 minutes explaining to the hair dresser *exactly* how I would like it....'Well it's a graduated, assymetric bob...but it has to have a side parting way over the the left... and it needs to be quite short at the back, and very short at the bottom at the back - almost to the nape - and I need to be able to tuck it behind my ears and...' I am really good a dying people's hair.

I was at a level crossing today and a train went by and a small boy with blonde hair waved at us and I waved back and I would have given absolutely anything in the world to have been that boy for an afternoon.

yes, he had just escaped from an orphanage and was trying to avoid capture.

those are fab Fergal but everyone else's secrets are really quite nice. Am I the only truly bad person here or am I just the only one being honest? I have worn the same undies for three days running (although it was at a festival which doesn't really count)

I thought my carpet mite one didn't particularly potray me in that good a light.... I think all my bad ones ares so bad that I can't even admit them to myself.... This morning when I went into a shop I used to work in they said, 'Have you had your hair cut - it looks fab,' and I sort of paused before I said, 'Yes,' (Which I had) - though it made me realise I often think of the 'right' answer in a situation rather than the 'true' one.... This must make me a liar. I don't want to admit that on a public forum. Shit.

At least you bother to think the right answer. Quite often people ask me something like "ohhh I like that top" and aside from (sometimes) managing the customary "thank you" I kind of dismiss the comment as completely irrelevant and don't even bother replying. I can come across as a bit rude sometimes!

The 3 day underwear festival? Sounds like fun....

You sound just like me, Fergal. I know why you don't like sitting on warm chairs too - it's because you never know what people might have left behind ;o) (sorry about the emoty)

A nasty one, Jude ? Every time I see a news report of someone going 'postal' in America and shooting twelve people before turning the gun on themselves, I always think 'only twelve? I bet I could have taken more than that down' I have similar bad thoughts about suicide bombers. I would never want to do either of those things, but if I did, surely the point is to rack up a huge casualty rate. If you're in a High school and you have an AK47, you should surely be able to notch up fifty plus, before the cops arrive, then shoot it out with the cops - I'd count double for cops. (I've never admitted this to anyone else)

OOOh...I have had that very same thought. Given the amount of ammo that Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris had I thought the score of 13 at Columbine was really low!

I am secretly happy when Americans are killed in Iraq

Dan.

It's the David and Goliath syndrome, Dan.

And you're a trainee nun! I don't feel quite so bad now. I do get secretly disappointed every time the anniversary of 11th September comes along and the Statue of Liberty doesn't tumble. I have occasionally had a momentary flicker of pleasure when I hear about casualties in Iraq, but then I think about them having wives and families. American High School children on the other hand, have it coming, I've seen plenty of movies and TV shows set there, and if I'd been to a school like that and had access to firearms, I'd have cut loose big-style.

The Kliebolds just sold their house. They live 4 blocks from me. Ever see a 14 year old girl shot in the face?

I also take a perverse pleasure in watching women in high heels run for buses. The pleasure is double if they slip and trebled if they trip and go flying into the footplate of the bus.

Ever see a 14 year old girl shot in the face? I don't really see the relevence...Neither of us were saying its a good thing, just that why did they get so few people...they must be naff!

at shooting

I suspect they just weren't too bothered about the high score bonus, Jude.

Ohhh..you wanted more then?

It's partly that Smiley, it's also the thought that it 'serves them bloody right' Oh god radio, it's almost too awful to say but I have to admit I was definitely jealous of the two Columbine killers, when I was that age I had days when I would have happily killed everybody in my school. I didn't, and perhaps that's the only dividing line between sanity and insanity. If I had acces to guns, who knows?

I wasn't jealous when I saw what happened. I vomited...and then cried. This is too close to the heart and too close to the anniversary...I'm bailing out of this conversation before I get pissed. You guys make fun of it all you like...

It's well worth seeing "Bang, Bang, You're Dead" as it helps put such feelings in perspective.

I think, radio, that we all have 'darker' secret thoughts that we dont' tend to share for exactly the reason that people with think we have no heart and no empathy. But whether we act on it or not is the difference. I don't get secretly happy when I here about an American dying in Iraq - but mostly because I have this feeling that most of the Americans out there are the poor, Army-is-the-only-way-out, kind, who are trained especially to not know better. I met someone once - an English corporal - who said he couldn't wait to get out to Iraq to kill some r********. He was being serious. He had never been taught to see Iraqis as real people, or to differentiate between Iraqis and Iranis and Pakistanis. The army - to work - need people like him to stay as they are. That sickens me more than anything else. I get secretly happy when I find out that girls all the boys fancied at school have gone on to have uneventful lives and still live on the same street as they once did.

I feel like a right shit now. In future I shall keep my secrets secret.

I like sleeping dressed in nothing but a big smile. When I was at school I deliberately spread my verrucca through the showers (Gosh I AM evil) Fergal is right Everyone has dark, macabre thoughts that they don't like to share because they think people will believe them to be bad. But thinking things and doing them are different. anyone seen the film "Elephant" based on Columbine?

i shall have no secrets do you want to hear one i will put a dot in my name not my real name ok

Don't feel like a shit... you didn't get my tone... I meant that I *could* feel that way, and can see why you do... sheesh, I'm the last person to judge. I sometimes imagine going up to people in the street who are annoying me and punching them really hard in the face.