Mary had a Little Lamb
Fri, 2002-04-12 10:30
#1
Mary had a Little Lamb
These were some of my faves when I was at school.
Mary had a little lamb
She tied him to a pylon
12 thousand volts shot up his @!#$
and turned his wool to nylon
Mary had a little lamb
she thought him rather silly
and threw him up into the air
and caught him by his willy
a more modern one...
Mary had a little lamb
She called him little Ralph
But now he's burning on a pyre
Because of foot and mouth
Does anyone have any more or better still, write one
here's mine
Mary had a little lamb
and Beckham was his name
But f.ucking up his little hoof
May cost us all the game
janus
Mary had a little lamb
She couldn't get a horse
So she chopped the bugger up
And had it with mint sauce
Andrea
Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in a bucket.
And every time the lamb got out
The bulldog tried to @!#$ it.
Well, y'know...um...do naughty things to it.
Bugger poobum, it takes all the fun out o' poetry...
Ari
Passed down to me by my Dad:
Mary had a little lamb.
Pevert
Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear,
I've often seen her little lamb,
But I've never seen her bear.
Mary had a little lamb,
Then she had some more.
Greedy bitch
chooselife
Mary had an e:mailed SPAM
she opened it and read
the contents wormed inside her files
and now her P.C.'s dead!
Tony Cook
Mary had a little lamb
Its name was little Billy
Every time that she lay down
It tried to **** her silly
Mary had a little lam
Ination on her ID card
Every time the cops said 'show'
She'd kick them really hard
Sorry, that's just plain silly.
muzz
Mary had a little lamb
she could not stop it grunting
so she took it down the garden path
and kicked it's f#####* C*@t in.
Mary had a little lamb
he was very well endowed
but oral sex was out of the question
because of the way it smelled.
Sheepish
Mary had a lamb
who picked her nose like mad
she rolled them up in little balls
and flicked them at her dad
Andrea
*feel obliged to correct Muzz's grammar*
It should be:
'And kicked ITS fucking @!#$ in', dear Muzz.
Apart from that, a truly charming piece.
muzz
Why thanx Andrea....well ya know I'm a bit fic.
Andrea
Why couldn't she get a horse, then?
Please clarify...
And had WHAT with mint sauce?
Oh, I do so loathe these obscure poems.
Andrea
...and ambiguity's even worse...
andrew pack
Andrea - shouldn't it have been HER rather than ITS ? Based on what I'm guessing the rhyming word ought to have been.
Mary had a little lamb
around its neck were ribbons
I'm sorry that this is so poor
But I'm no Eddie Gibbons...
Andrea
Oh dear, Andrew, for shame!
But, y'see, he didn't specify the sex of the bloody thing either, did he? Although 'it' having a @!#$ would be a dead giveaway, of course.
Besides, if he'd written 'her', it could have been Mary's fucking @!#$ that was kicked in, rather than the lambs. Most annoying.
To be fair, hard to sex lambs, I expect. Unlike polar bears, where it's perfectly obvious.
Disgusted of Pe...
Just let my little daughters loose on this thread thinking the title was a safe bet...
You people are disgustingly funny!!!!!
Charles Lamb
Mary had a little lamb
A little lamb had Mary
And Mary liked the little ram
To shag her where it's hairy
Primate
Mary a little lamb
It gambolled round in hops
It gambolled in the road one day
And ended up as chops
justyn_thyme
Mary had a little lamb
The doctors were astounded.
Swordfish
mary had a little llama
she also had cheap sherry
mary got obliterated
instead of getting merry ....
Andrea
...Hub took piccies with a cam
And blood and guts abounded.
mississippi
You should know better Gerry.