When uddenly…

... th wnnr tks t ll.

th lsr hs t fll.

...ave ream

meeeaaanwhiiileee iiin sooomeee diiingy baaack streeeeeet oooff theee eeediiinbuuurgh miiileee, a cuuunniiing liiinguuuiiist waaas uuup tooo hiiis neeeck iiin oootheeer peeeooopleee's voooweeels, aaaand oooh hooow heee laaauuugheeed, wheeen suuuddeeenly...

Your a little early, dog!

... the larceny became even more eriou when another letter wa inched and the alhabet wa heard to utter a itiful hudder.

ilence truck ............................................................................................................................................................................................ you could have heard a in dro

...if there had been a in to dro  but everyone knew that a in wa omething that freda jut made u . ACH JE! cried old Uwe from under the rece tion dek at the ALHABET MUEUM. He rolled hi oiled June LAYBOY mag into a tight batton, and did u hi trouer when uddenly...

hat he ucks his? our ollocks acks etters!

That' eay for you to ay, miiii.

Apparently there's a virus going round called the "Norman Colier" Be areful it's atching, Sht now i'm inected. ugger.

ity they didnt ju t teal the owel !

12:15... old uwe tumbled over a bulgey bag. he undid it to find... THE TWO STOLEN LETTERS!!!, but still he thought something was amiss. there was a movement in the shadows by the ALPHABET FRIDGE. uwe turned and WALLOP! WALLOP! WALLOP! 02:30... FCK! THY TK TH VWLS! THY TK TH VWLS! WHN SDDNLY...

vr th msm tnny systm vc nnncd THS S N MRGNCY NWS BLLTN .......... TRRRSTS R NW THRTNNG T DSTRY TH LPHBTCL RDR S W KNW T. Thr fllwd a lng brng spch by he prm mnstr Tny Blr. HEWN YUDDSLEN.......

...ive p.

said Mr Hewn Yuddslen, the notorious international man of a thousand faeces, as he straightened his trousers and attempted to resist the chaos, when quite unsuddenly...