Why do I like bad jokes...
Fri, 2005-07-22 10:36
#1
Why do I like bad jokes...
...but I do.
This one, sent to me by me sister in law from Spain, really made me laugh this morning:
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which
created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very
bad breath. This made him.... what? (This is so bad it's good...) --
a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
jude
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name is Patricia Whack.
'Ms. Whack,' he says, 'I'd like to obtain a loan to buy a boat.'
Patti furrows her brow and asks, 'Well, how much do you want to borrow?'
'$30,000,' the frog says.
The teller writes this down, then asks his name.
'My name is Kermit Jagger. I'm the son of Mick Jagger.'
'Really?' she asks, eyebrow raised.
'Yes,' he says. Then he digs into his pants pocket and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant. 'And I want to use this as collateral.'
'Ummm, okay,' Patti says, accepting the elephant. 'I'll have to ask the owner about this.'
'That's fine,' he says. 'He'll vouch for me.'
Patti walks into the bank owner's office and explains the situation. 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000 to buy a boat. He wants to use this' - she holds up the tiny pink elephant - 'as collateral. I mean, what the heck is this thing?'
The owner says: 'It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.'
Pepsoid Reborn
Oh my...
hitch
A few seasons ago Celtic were beaten by Inverness Caledonian Thistle.
The headline in one of the papers the following day was -
Super Caley Go Ballistic - Celtic Are Atrocious.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/scot_div_1/2875957.stm
Classic.
Stephen Gardiner
I remember the inimitable Fwank Muir on the old radio programme "My Word" doing a long and unlikely preamble about a shopping list that ended:
soup
a cauli
fridge
elastic
eggs
peas
halitosis
fatalky
Pardon me boy, is that the cat who chewed my new shoes?
Smiley
and that old Roman sailing song - Sliding a gong down the chest of a slave.
Pepsoid Reborn
What do chickens send their letters in?
Hen-velopes.
(sorry)
fish
hahahaha ...
Pepsoid Reborn
My God, that's brilliant!!! I must immediately share it with everyone I know...
John
hahahahaha!
Its good..
jude
ha ha ha ha
Pepsoid Reborn
ha ha hee hee har har ho ho guffaw guffaw....
Hurrah!
Ely Whitley
it's like a dream... i love it!
Pepsoid Reborn
It's like those words were *meant* to be put together in that order!
fatalky
That's the best bad joke I've heard. Ever.
Ely Whitley
i might as well add my own in the same style, I've said them many times in here but they are a favourite kind of joke for me, I won't go on woth the whole joke but the inevitable punchlines are:
Rude Olf the ted loathes train beer
I'm a four pointed tool eater Jaguar
Now Hans, that does dishes, is as soft as Jervaise with mild green hairy lipsquids.
NONE of these are any where near as good as the one at the top of this thread which I swear I will have told by the end of today. I shall gove full credit to TC of course.